We talk about alcohol so much, that sometimes I forget all the drug abuse I had in my life. Alcohol was my drug of choice, but the drug abuse was very prevalent in my life also.
Back in the day, people used to say that marijuana would lead to hard drugs, and we just laughed at them. SURE!! What do YOU know? Well, my story with drugs goes a bit like this:
When I was about 14, my older brother (17) was doing drugs. Speed was called methedrine and somehow they got it in vials and shot it up. I caught my brother using one day, and he told me it was medicine he was taking because he was sick. There was a house where a few of his friends hung out, and the little brother (me) was always tagging along. I didn't think anything of the behavior of these people, staying awake for days, and acting strange all the time, as I was happy just to be included, the little brother looking up to the older brother.
I got involved with burglaries and ended up in a boys camp in La Honda, Calif. for about a year. When I got out, I thought I was the tough guy, because the little guy that went there, built his body up with weight lifting, exercise and high bar routines.
I had an Italian friend that was allowed to drink at home, and we started to drink on the weekends, and I started ending up getting drunk at times. It got to the point after graduation, that my parents finally gave me the option of doing as they wished or leaving. I left to go out on my own and ended up in the big city, San Francisco.
Once I got to the big city, it was ON! I had a menial job in an Insurance Company, wearing white shirt and tie, and suits and sports coats, lol. I thought I was the "business man". I worked in the tabulating dept. as an IBM operator by day, or a "man" of the night when I got off. I ran into a couple of guys that I had been in the boys camp with and they were into smoking pot and poping pills. Of course, I didn't want to look like a "square", so I joined right in with them. It was all about hitting the night spots, even though we weren't 21 yet. Hung out in the coffee houses of North Beach, and the pot and pill taking escalated. I remember there was a "church" for the down and out, called the "Last Exit", located at the end of Broadway and started hanging out there, and in the Tenderloin District at night and weekends.
There was plenty of drugs to go along with all the alcohol we were consuming. You name it, they had it, so WE had it. Didn't matter what it was, we took it, or should I say I took it.
I went to jail in 1965 and when I got out, the Hippie movement was on its way. There was a girl I had been going with before I went in, and we tried to hook up. She was into selling Acid, pot and all the other psychedelic drugs of the day. Naturally, I had to go and do my share.
A couple of guys that I had met in school and later in the pool halls started selling grass big time, and of course I had to get my fingers in it too. I would buy a "lid" which was a four finger baggie, and then break them up into matchboxes and sell them in the city and to new people on the scene. The bike clubs started selling beans or bennies, (cross tops) about this time, and I would buy a "jar" (1,000) for about 10 bucks and sell a "roll" for 2 buck in the after hour clubs. Of course, in order to stay "up", I had to take MY share.
So here I was, in the late 60's, taking and selling drugs, hustling the streets, coffee houses, bars and friends. Of course there was a lot of other crime involved along with the drinking and drugging. The boosting of stores and cars, robbing houses and stores, stealing cars, strong arm robberies and a lot that I won't mention.
Ah, here come the 70's, the cocaine and crank years, at least the beginning. Now settled down with my wife, had my first son in 1969, I continued to party, even though I had a pretty good job. Spent a lot of time in the bars and consumed massive amounts of alcohol, so I had to take the coke and crank to stay sober, lol. The mescaline and the speeds made it so I could drink longer and more.
This continued all thru the 70's and into the 80's and 90's. In the 90's I was mostly taking speed and smoking pot along with the drinking. I almost forgot to mention all the prescription drugs that were available. The reds, yellows, darvon, percadan, and a whole lot of others that I took and didn't even know what they were.
I took anything that would help me drink more and longer, or make me forget about any responsibilities that I might have had.
In 1996, after my best friend passed away from cancer, I went on a spree after his funeral. I went on about a 10 day run, with anti depressants, valiums, pain pills, crank and washed it all down with massive amounts of alcohol. I went to jail and then prison, with somewhere around my 13th DUI. I went into, what I think, was a nervous breakdown, having the DDT's and ending up in the rubber room at the county jail. I don't think I "came to", until about 14 or so months later, while walking the yard in San Quentin State Prison.
When I was released from prison, my wife had left me, everything that I had owned was gone, and I didn't have a pot to piss in. It took three violations and a 20 month trip to a program to finally make me "see the light".
The rest is mostly good, after I was released from prison in 2003. I have been clean and sober since, and on the 29th of this month, I will pick up my 6 year coin or chip, whatever they want to give me, lol. I had to go thru some bad times when released to get my life back in order, but the patience, honest and willingness made it possible for that to happen.
My life has changed dramatically and so has my thinking. After leading a life like mine, I never thought I would see this day, with so much time without alcohol and drugs. I thank the 12 step programs and the people in it and especially all you great people that have come to this group and shared yourself, listened to what I had to say, gave me feedback and helped me STAY clean and sober.
Thanks all for coming and "listening" to me.
DONE
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