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Why does everything seem so crazy? None of the confident people I know forced themselves to be that way. Instead they've learned how to let themselves be that way. They are dynamic and creative. They are at peace with themselves, But unlike those who remain trapped in a cage of self-doubt they don't try to be dynamic, creative, and peaceful. Life works naturally when we get out of the way. They let life flow without presenting obstructions. They let these qualities come through. That's the key to learning truly deep confidence.
The misconceptions of self-doubt often create a sense of threat whenever unfamiliar and unacceptable thoughts, feelings, or desires come to consciousness. They seem to confirm the horrible presumption that there is something fundamentally wrong with them. They seem to think they are flawed in some way. When that happens you've probably tried harder and harder to withdraw attention from those threatening aspects of yourself. Deep doubt operates very much like a phobia, although it is far more complex than other phobias because it is a fear of your own mind, the mind that's doing the fearing. When someone with a simple phobia withdraws from the thing he or she fears, their sense of anxiety decreases. In so doing they learn to withdraw with even greater resolve the next time.
The world is crazy because we have crazy teachers and crazy training and we were too good as students of all this craziness. Sadly, many of us are still stuck in the mindset of the medieval church. If we could just do things right, some of us think, then some god will reward us. The new age twist on this same old notion is that if we are good people, we will have good things happen and we won't get sick. Science may be able to cure our bodies at times, but it cannot cure thinking that is steeped in the illusion that a small-minded god punishes his creation with illness, either directly or through subtle means and therefore should be feared. The cure for this kind of thinking lies neither in religion nor in science, but in a paradigm shift - an awakening out of the dreams of fear into the reality of divine love. A shift to spiritual optimism and the recognition that you are responsible for your life, thoughts, feelings, and actions.
This concept brings to mind the time that Albert Einstein was asked what the most important question was that a human being needed to answer. He responded, "Is the universe a friendly place or not?" Oftentimes, we're too busy making a living and raising the kids to even think about Einstein's response. Illness, however, puts us face to face with our beliefs and stimulates thinking about life's most important questions. Illness brings about the need to create meaning from tragedy - to reinvent our lives on a higher, wiser, more loving level than before. Have you ever heard the expression: "Love your disease?"
What kinds of stories do you tell yourself when illness or some other difficult situation crops up? Stop for a moment and think about some unpleasant event that happened to you - what was the story you told yourself about why it happened? If your story had to do with growth, love, or understanding, then you can probably reflect upon periods of crisis and realize that they were important times of change even though you would not have imagined or chosen the series of chaotic events that led you to a new perspective. If your story was negative and fearful, you probably feel or felt helpless and disempowered. If we believe that we are helpless victims of other people, or recipients of god's righteous anger, how else are we going to feel?
I once appeared on a radio talk show, discussing the fact that stress is a result of feeling separate, and the separateness is the result of fear. One unfortunate man called in to say that his greatest fear was going to hell. I asked if he'd committed a crime that he had not confessed and made amends for. He said no, that on the contrary, he was a very moral person, always trying to do good for others. But, he added, god is omniscient and sees all our thoughts. Since he sometimes had thoughts of anger, lust, or jealousy he believed that on "Judgment Day" he would be thrown into hell for eternity. I actually want to run outside and eat dirt from just remembering this crap. As you might imagine, this man was a walking study in stress-related disorders. Is it any wonder? Worse still, he viewed his symptoms as evidence that he was already being punished by god. When I asked this man (mostly to entertain myself) if anyone went to heaven, he was silent for a moment. It was obvious that this man was not only a psychological pessimist who blamed himself for the problems of life, but he was also a religious pessimist, a person who not only believes that he is bad, but also that god will no doubt punish him for it.
We are living in a time when the numbers of people who exhibit serious problems with life exceed the numbers who are living well. Perhaps it is time to turn from perceiving the individuals as the problem and refocus on their training, their programming. The world is crazy because we have had crazy training in how to Be, how to Live, and what is Important. Our culture has adopted a model which can be thought of as a Doing Model. It can be conceptualized as a straight line because it is clearly linear in focus. It is work-related, as it comes from the work ethic, and the model is oriented toward achieving goals and gaining external rewards. The beginning of the model - the straight line - is birth and then each step forward is marked by achievements. Each step forward means obtaining something new, a degree, a promotion, a marriage, a bigger house, more cars, more wealth, and on and on. Each step can be quickly compared to the one before, which is less, and to the one ahead, which is more. There is always another goal to reach until one gets to the end, which is not death but retirement. Then this model stops, as it is not interested in life without work. This model implies that life is work.
The very nature of this model, as determined from its underlying philosophy, means that this is a competitive, judgmental, achievement-oriented, and externally rewarded system for living. The problem is that this may be a model for one aspect of life, the career focus for the person, but it is a terrible model for all aspects of life. It seems that this is what has happened; we have generalized one model to cover all of life. We have become goal-oriented, competitive, judgmental, externally focused, and lost-without-work in our spiritual, emotional, interactive, and physical spheres. No wonder the world feels so crazy and we feel so lost and fragmented.
What is needed is to stop blaming ourselves for inappropriate training and to begin utilizing another model for living. Eastern philosophies have developed a centuries-old model which can be conceived as a Model of Being. Think of this model as a circle which spirals inward without any beginning or end. There is no "better" place to be on this model. Just being on it is enough. As a matter of fact, Being is enough. Because it is circular, this model continually recycles, meaning that you return to where you have before, but because it spirals inward, you are never in exactly the same place as before. You are constantly changing, and everything you perceive is seen as if for the first time with your changed eyes. Because there is no known end, there can be no goal in getting to the end. Thus, the journey is the goal. It is being on the path, not the final destination that is important. And there is no competition because where you are on the model is where you are and not comparable to where anyone else is. There is no judgment because there is no one judging. This, then, becomes the Model of Acceptance.
Our Model of Doing is a paradoxical model in that most people hope to achieve goals that are not obtainable with the model. The goals of peace and balance and inner power are found with the Eastern Model of Being, which is not the goal-oriented model.
The Model of Being requires some training because it is the opposite of the more familiar Doing Model. However, this Eastern model does not need to be the only model in your life. You can use the Western Doing Model for some areas of your life, such as education and career advancement, and use the Being Model for the rest of your life. One warning: use of the Being Model can become addictive in a very positive manner. A certain amount of trust and a small leap of faith are required to jump off the Doing Model and experience the other. Remember, you can always jump back. You can always choose to go back to what you know. But first, please ask yourself if it has worked for you. Do you know what you need to know to stop the craziness? If the answer is no, take the leap.
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