A MASTER

Article written by Zentai, in the series "Beyond the 12 Steps"

A MASTER


Perhaps you have wondered how people come to experience themselves as "master" in their lives. The answer is simple: they consider it to be so true that no proof is required!

I am going to describe two ways of experiencing life and then tell you the most fundamental determinant relating to which way you happen to be in. The first one is that of practicing to be a master, although you probably call it by some other set of words. Nevertheless, you will recognize the description. The events of life are organized into a pattern of "struggling" for mastery without completion of the experience of your mastery. Your experience resembles the age-old riddle of trying to reach a wall by successively taking half the distance to the wall with each step. No matter how close you come to the wall, you never reach it. There are always an infinite number of steps left to reach the wall. In the experience of your life, likewise, there seem to be an infinite number of steps left until you reach the condition of master of the experience of your life. It is always just beyond: with that just right job, that just so relationship, those perfect friends whom you haven't met yet, that new car you think will complete your experience of mastery. Yet, as each new circumstance is completed, you notice that the experience of satisfaction isn't quite all there. Something is missing and you can't quite put your finger on it. No matter what you do, that's not it.

The other way of experiencing life is that of master. Exactly the same conditions and events prevail; however, it is all incorporated into the way of a master practicing life. Difficult situations still befall you; however, they become a contribution to your enrichment. At all times you feel whole and complete, and everything that happens in your life validates your wholeness and your completeness. This experience extends to your relationships as well. Your spouse or parent may express hostility and rejection toward you and you take that into your experience in such a way that it validates the worth of the other person as well as your own worth. Or, if they are not communicative, that is taken into your experience in such a way that the silence is exactly the contribution that is appropriate in the relationship. You are master of life and all that comes by for your experience validates, confirms, and contributes to your context as master. Whether things are "good or bad" by the standards of the world is quite irrelevant.

So, we have before us two ways of experiencing life; (1) practicing to be a master, and (2) a master practicing. I can't stress to you too much that external events do not determine which way you are in. Anyone in their right mind would choose number 2, wouldn't they? Evidently not, for it is the purist choice there is in life and yet, what we see in the world is people practicing to be masters and never quite making it. This brings us to the issue of the fundamental determinant of which way you happen to be in. Like all true statements it is utter simplicity: YOU SAY SO. If you feel stuck in practicing to be a master and never quite making it, ask yourself: Why don't I say so?

In the moment that you say so, it is so. I must tell you that the content of your life is not what changes when you say "I am a master practicing." What changes when you say that is that everything and everyone in your life is transformed in your "experience" and it all becomes a contribution to your practice of mastery. You don't have to wait until you are on your death bed to become a master practicing. You can become a master practicing from where you are right now. Simply say so. Then, consciously take every event in your life as a demonstration of your mastery.

When you experience yourself as the "master" in your life, you will find that you can instantly and magically transform the quality of any relationship by simple consideration.

There are certain advantages to being a master practicing. For one thing, your relationships are transformed. So, if you have been putting up with, or trying to change, someone and simply being frustrated, all that is transformed. I don't mean that your someone will become enlightened and start treating you better. NO! A master of life has no need for someone who acts the way they're "supposed to." In fact, someone's craziness (if they are nuts) becomes more grist for your mastery mill. The crazier they act, the more mastery you have. If you look at them and get a large pain in your stomach, the pain in your stomach becomes more contributing material to your mastery. Why? Because you say so. No other reason. If that is not your experience, then you didn't say so. On the other hand, if someone becomes enlightened (and they might), then their enlightenment is a validation of your mastery. Why? Because you say so. For no other reason.

You see, a master practicing lets life be the way it is. When you let life be the way it is, you will find out that it validates and supports you. Always. So, if life is not validating and supporting you, you are not letting it be the way it is. At that point, when you are willing to let it be the way it is, a certain satisfaction comes over you. Said another way, you create the context of satisfaction by doing nothing! From the context of satisfaction you can absolutely beat life into shape. As you beat it, you are satisfied. As it changes shape, you are satisfied. When you notice the shape that you beat it into, you are satisfied. Everything becomes a contribution to your state of satisfaction. So, letting life be the way it is doesn't mean not to change it. You change it totally, but not so that it will get better. You will change it as a game, nothing more. For, you see, if you beat life to change it to be better, that would be coming from dissatisfaction. A lot of people do exactly that. They are not particularly satisfied and their actual impact on the world is even smaller than it seems. Their relationships are relationships of domination and manipulation, the weakest tools of change known to the planet.

So, a master practicing starts with the fact that he is whole and complete. Because he says so, and for no other reason. He also starts from the fact that his relationships are whole, complete, and perfect. They are exactly the way they should be. Why? Because he says so, no other reason. As relationships change, that is exactly what they should be doing: changing. When they seem to stay the same, that is exactly what they should be doing: staying the same. When he changes them, that is exactly the appropriate thing to do: change them. When others change them, that is seen as the appropriate thing to happen. How can all this be so? Because our master practicing says so, and for no other reason. This is called living "at cause" in your relationships.

I want you to know that in the usual course of events people set out to master their relationships. What I mean by that is not to dominate and manipulate them, except in the highest meaning of those words. However, along the way we invalidate ourselves by causing our relationships to go a certain way without awareness that we cause it. What we say is that it was done "to" us. This invalidates you and takes your power out of your hands and places it in some other location. You end the confusion. You have to be in confusion and "not know" what happened to avoid awareness of responsibility for what happened to avoid awareness of responsibility for what happened. This is not the way of a master practicing in the area of relationship.

A master practicing creates the experience of responsibility by intention, by purpose, even when the understanding of "how" the event was caused has not arrived yet. Understanding comes inevitably. Not the kind of understanding that merely explains things "ex post facto," but understanding that actually provides mastery of relationships in the present. Understanding like this is best called "knowing." When you "know" something, confusion has no opportunity to exist. A master practicing in the area of relationships knows, and is willing to know, and everything that happens validates, confirms and contributes to that fact. Because she or he says so. No other reason.