Milkman's Reflections in Recovery: Journey Beyond the 12 Steps:
This book is intended for people in recovery from alcoholism and addictions that wish to pursue their recovery to find out some of the “whys” of their addictions and to give some direction to find solutions, giving them a better ....
Monday, May 28, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Just for Today - May 23 - Amends And Sponsors
Just for Today - May 23 - Amends And Sponsors
Amends And Sponsors
"We want to be free of our guilt, but we don't wish to do so at the expense of anyone else."
Basic Text, p. 39
Let's face it: Most of us left trails of destruction in our wakes and harmed anyone who got in our way. Some of the people we hurt most in our addiction were the people we loved most. In an effort to purge ourselves of the guilt we feel for what we've done, we may be tempted to share with our loved ones, in gruesome detail, things that are better left unsaid. Such disclosures could do much harm and may do little good.
The Ninth Step is not about easing our guilty consciences; it's about taking responsibility for the wrongs we've done. In working our Eighth and Ninth Steps, we should seek the guidance of our sponsor and amend our wrongs in a manner that won't cause us to owe more amends. We are not just seeking freedom from remorse—we are seeking freedom from our defects. We never again want to inflict harm on our loved ones. One way to insure that we do not is by working the Ninth Step responsibly, checking our motives, and discussing with our sponsor the particular amends we plan to make before we make them.
Just for today: I wish to accept responsibility for my actions. Before making any amends, I will talk with my sponsor.
pg. 149
"We want to be free of our guilt, but we don't wish to do so at the expense of anyone else."
Basic Text, p. 39
Let's face it: Most of us left trails of destruction in our wakes and harmed anyone who got in our way. Some of the people we hurt most in our addiction were the people we loved most. In an effort to purge ourselves of the guilt we feel for what we've done, we may be tempted to share with our loved ones, in gruesome detail, things that are better left unsaid. Such disclosures could do much harm and may do little good.
The Ninth Step is not about easing our guilty consciences; it's about taking responsibility for the wrongs we've done. In working our Eighth and Ninth Steps, we should seek the guidance of our sponsor and amend our wrongs in a manner that won't cause us to owe more amends. We are not just seeking freedom from remorse—we are seeking freedom from our defects. We never again want to inflict harm on our loved ones. One way to insure that we do not is by working the Ninth Step responsibly, checking our motives, and discussing with our sponsor the particular amends we plan to make before we make them.
Just for today: I wish to accept responsibility for my actions. Before making any amends, I will talk with my sponsor.
pg. 149
twenty-four hours a day for May 22
twenty-four hours a day for May 22
A.A. Thought for the Day
What impresses us most at an A.A. meetng is thw willingness to share, without holding anything back. And pretty soon we find ourselves sharing also. We start telling our own experiences and by so doing we help the other person. And when we've got these things off our chest, we feel a lot better. It does us a lot of good to share with some other poor unfortunate person who's in the same box that we were in. And the more we share, the more we have left for ourselves. DO I KNOW THAT THE MORE I SHARE, THE BETTER CHANCE I'LL HAVE TO STAY SOBER?
Meditation for the Day
Constantly claim God's strength. Once convinced of the right of a course of action, once reasonably sure of God's guidance, claim that strength now. You can claim all the strength you need to meet any situation. You can claim a new supply when your own supply is exhausted. You have a right to claim it and you should use your right. A beggar supplicates, a child appropriates. When you supplicate, you are often kept waiting, but when you appropriate God's strength in a good cause, you have it at once.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may claim God's strength whenever I need it. I pray that I may try to live as a child of God.
A.A. Thought for the Day
What impresses us most at an A.A. meetng is thw willingness to share, without holding anything back. And pretty soon we find ourselves sharing also. We start telling our own experiences and by so doing we help the other person. And when we've got these things off our chest, we feel a lot better. It does us a lot of good to share with some other poor unfortunate person who's in the same box that we were in. And the more we share, the more we have left for ourselves. DO I KNOW THAT THE MORE I SHARE, THE BETTER CHANCE I'LL HAVE TO STAY SOBER?
Meditation for the Day
Constantly claim God's strength. Once convinced of the right of a course of action, once reasonably sure of God's guidance, claim that strength now. You can claim all the strength you need to meet any situation. You can claim a new supply when your own supply is exhausted. You have a right to claim it and you should use your right. A beggar supplicates, a child appropriates. When you supplicate, you are often kept waiting, but when you appropriate God's strength in a good cause, you have it at once.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may claim God's strength whenever I need it. I pray that I may try to live as a child of God.
daily reflections for May 22-STEP ONE
daily reflections for May 22-STEP ONE
Step One
WE... (The first word of the First Step)
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.21
When I was drinking all I could ever think about was "I,I,I," or "Me,Me, Me." Such painful obsession of self, such soul sickness, such spiritual selfishness bound me to the bottle for more than half my life.
The journey to find God and to do His will one day at a time began with the first word of the First Step... "We." There was power in numbers, there was strength in numbers, there was safety in numbers, and for an alcoholic like me, there was life in numbers. If I had tried to recover alone I probably would have died. With God and another alcoholic I have a divine purpose in my life... I have become a channel for God's healing love.
Step One
WE... (The first word of the First Step)
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.21
When I was drinking all I could ever think about was "I,I,I," or "Me,Me, Me." Such painful obsession of self, such soul sickness, such spiritual selfishness bound me to the bottle for more than half my life.
The journey to find God and to do His will one day at a time began with the first word of the First Step... "We." There was power in numbers, there was strength in numbers, there was safety in numbers, and for an alcoholic like me, there was life in numbers. If I had tried to recover alone I probably would have died. With God and another alcoholic I have a divine purpose in my life... I have become a channel for God's healing love.
Just for Today - May 22 - Symptoms Of A Spiritual Awakening
Just for Today - May 22 - Symptoms Of A Spiritual Awakening
Symptoms Of A Spiritual Awakening
"The steps lead to an awakening of a spiritual nature. This awakening is evidenced by changes in our lives."
Basic Text, p. 48
We know how to recognize the disease of addiction. Its symptoms are indisputable. Besides an uncontrollable appetite for drugs, those suffering exhibit self-centered, self-seeking behavior. When our addiction was at its peak of activity, we were obviously in a great deal of pain. We relentlessly judged ourselves and others, and spent most of our time worrying or trying to control outcomes.
Just as the disease of addiction is evidenced by definite symptoms, so is a spiritual awakening made manifest by certain obvious signs in a recovering addict. We may observe a tendency to think and act spontaneously, a loss of interest in judging or interpreting the actions of anyone else, an unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment, and frequent attacks of smiling.
If we see someone exhibiting symptoms of a spiritual awakening, we should be aware that such awakenings are contagious. Our best course of action is to get close to these people. As we begin having frequent, overwhelming episodes of gratitude, an increased receptiveness to the love extended by our fellow members, and an uncontrollable urge to return this love, we'll realize that we, too, have had a spiritual awakening.
Just for today: My strongest desire is to have a spiritual awakening. I will watch for its symptoms and rejoice when I discover them.
pg. 148
"The steps lead to an awakening of a spiritual nature. This awakening is evidenced by changes in our lives."
Basic Text, p. 48
We know how to recognize the disease of addiction. Its symptoms are indisputable. Besides an uncontrollable appetite for drugs, those suffering exhibit self-centered, self-seeking behavior. When our addiction was at its peak of activity, we were obviously in a great deal of pain. We relentlessly judged ourselves and others, and spent most of our time worrying or trying to control outcomes.
Just as the disease of addiction is evidenced by definite symptoms, so is a spiritual awakening made manifest by certain obvious signs in a recovering addict. We may observe a tendency to think and act spontaneously, a loss of interest in judging or interpreting the actions of anyone else, an unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment, and frequent attacks of smiling.
If we see someone exhibiting symptoms of a spiritual awakening, we should be aware that such awakenings are contagious. Our best course of action is to get close to these people. As we begin having frequent, overwhelming episodes of gratitude, an increased receptiveness to the love extended by our fellow members, and an uncontrollable urge to return this love, we'll realize that we, too, have had a spiritual awakening.
Just for today: My strongest desire is to have a spiritual awakening. I will watch for its symptoms and rejoice when I discover them.
pg. 148
Monday, May 21, 2012
Just for Today - May 22 - Symptoms Of A Spiritual Awakening
Just for Today - May 22 - Symptoms Of A Spiritual Awakening
Symptoms Of A Spiritual Awakening
"The steps lead to an awakening of a spiritual nature. This awakening is evidenced by changes in our lives."
Basic Text, p. 48
We know how to recognize the disease of addiction. Its symptoms are indisputable. Besides an uncontrollable appetite for drugs, those suffering exhibit self-centered, self-seeking behavior. When our addiction was at its peak of activity, we were obviously in a great deal of pain. We relentlessly judged ourselves and others, and spent most of our time worrying or trying to control outcomes.
Just as the disease of addiction is evidenced by definite symptoms, so is a spiritual awakening made manifest by certain obvious signs in a recovering addict. We may observe a tendency to think and act spontaneously, a loss of interest in judging or interpreting the actions of anyone else, an unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment, and frequent attacks of smiling.
If we see someone exhibiting symptoms of a spiritual awakening, we should be aware that such awakenings are contagious. Our best course of action is to get close to these people. As we begin having frequent, overwhelming episodes of gratitude, an increased receptiveness to the love extended by our fellow members, and an uncontrollable urge to return this love, we'll realize that we, too, have had a spiritual awakening.
Just for today: My strongest desire is to have a spiritual awakening. I will watch for its symptoms and rejoice when I discover them.
pg. 148
Symptoms Of A Spiritual Awakening
"The steps lead to an awakening of a spiritual nature. This awakening is evidenced by changes in our lives."
Basic Text, p. 48
We know how to recognize the disease of addiction. Its symptoms are indisputable. Besides an uncontrollable appetite for drugs, those suffering exhibit self-centered, self-seeking behavior. When our addiction was at its peak of activity, we were obviously in a great deal of pain. We relentlessly judged ourselves and others, and spent most of our time worrying or trying to control outcomes.
Just as the disease of addiction is evidenced by definite symptoms, so is a spiritual awakening made manifest by certain obvious signs in a recovering addict. We may observe a tendency to think and act spontaneously, a loss of interest in judging or interpreting the actions of anyone else, an unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment, and frequent attacks of smiling.
If we see someone exhibiting symptoms of a spiritual awakening, we should be aware that such awakenings are contagious. Our best course of action is to get close to these people. As we begin having frequent, overwhelming episodes of gratitude, an increased receptiveness to the love extended by our fellow members, and an uncontrollable urge to return this love, we'll realize that we, too, have had a spiritual awakening.
Just for today: My strongest desire is to have a spiritual awakening. I will watch for its symptoms and rejoice when I discover them.
pg. 148
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Just for Today - May 21 - Keep Coming Back!
Just for Today - May 21 - Keep Coming Back!
Keep Coming Back!
"Meetings keep us in touch with where we've been, but more importantly with where we could go in our recovery."
Basic Text, p. 54
In many ways, addicts are different. When we came to Narcotics Anonymous we found others like ourselves, people who understood us and whom we could understand. No longer did we feel like aliens, strangers wherever we went. We were at home in NA meetings, among friends.
We don't stop being addicts after we've been clean awhile. We still need to identify with other addicts. We continue coming to NA meetings to keep in touch with who we are, where we've come from, and where we're going. Every meeting reminds us that we can never use drugs successfully. Every meeting reminds us that we'll never be cured, but that by practicing the principles of the program we can recover. And every meeting offers us the experience and example of other addicts in ongoing recovery.
At meetings, we see how different people work their program, and the results are apparent in their lives. If we want the lives we see others living, we can find out what they've done to get where they are. Narcotics Anonymous meetings offer us identification with where we've been and where we can go — identification we can't do without and can't get anywhere else. That keeps us coming back.
Just for today: I will attend an NA meeting to remind myself of who I am, where I've come from, and where I can go in my recovery.
pg. 147
"Meetings keep us in touch with where we've been, but more importantly with where we could go in our recovery."
Basic Text, p. 54
In many ways, addicts are different. When we came to Narcotics Anonymous we found others like ourselves, people who understood us and whom we could understand. No longer did we feel like aliens, strangers wherever we went. We were at home in NA meetings, among friends.
We don't stop being addicts after we've been clean awhile. We still need to identify with other addicts. We continue coming to NA meetings to keep in touch with who we are, where we've come from, and where we're going. Every meeting reminds us that we can never use drugs successfully. Every meeting reminds us that we'll never be cured, but that by practicing the principles of the program we can recover. And every meeting offers us the experience and example of other addicts in ongoing recovery.
At meetings, we see how different people work their program, and the results are apparent in their lives. If we want the lives we see others living, we can find out what they've done to get where they are. Narcotics Anonymous meetings offer us identification with where we've been and where we can go — identification we can't do without and can't get anywhere else. That keeps us coming back.
Just for today: I will attend an NA meeting to remind myself of who I am, where I've come from, and where I can go in my recovery.
pg. 147
Friday, May 18, 2012
Just for Today - May 19 - A Growth Inventory
Just for Today - May 19 - A Growth Inventory
A Growth Inventory
"We review our past performance and our present behavior to see what we want to keep and what we want to discard."
Basic Text, p. 29
As each day winds to a close, many of us reflect on the past twenty-four hours and consider how we can live differently in the future. It's easy for our thoughts to remain trapped in the mundane: change the oil in the car, keep the living room clean, or empty the litter box. Sometimes it takes a special effort to jog our thinking out of the daily rut and onto a higher track.
One simple question can put us on the high road: What do we think our Higher Power wants for us tomorrow? Maybe we need to improve our flagging conscious contact with the God of our understanding. Perhaps we've been uncomfortable in our job or our relationship, holding on only out of fear. We might be hiding some troubling defect of character, afraid to share it with our sponsor. The question is, in what parts of our lives do we really want to grow?
As each day ends, we find it beneficial to take some moments to spend time with our Higher Power. We can begin to reflect on what will benefit our program of spiritual growth most in the coming day. We think about the areas in which we have grown recently, and target areas that still require work. What more fitting way to end the day?
Just for today: I will set aside some time at the end of the day to commune with my Higher Power. I will review the past day, meditating on what stands between me and my Higher Power's will for my life.
pg. 145
A Growth Inventory
"We review our past performance and our present behavior to see what we want to keep and what we want to discard."
Basic Text, p. 29
As each day winds to a close, many of us reflect on the past twenty-four hours and consider how we can live differently in the future. It's easy for our thoughts to remain trapped in the mundane: change the oil in the car, keep the living room clean, or empty the litter box. Sometimes it takes a special effort to jog our thinking out of the daily rut and onto a higher track.
One simple question can put us on the high road: What do we think our Higher Power wants for us tomorrow? Maybe we need to improve our flagging conscious contact with the God of our understanding. Perhaps we've been uncomfortable in our job or our relationship, holding on only out of fear. We might be hiding some troubling defect of character, afraid to share it with our sponsor. The question is, in what parts of our lives do we really want to grow?
As each day ends, we find it beneficial to take some moments to spend time with our Higher Power. We can begin to reflect on what will benefit our program of spiritual growth most in the coming day. We think about the areas in which we have grown recently, and target areas that still require work. What more fitting way to end the day?
Just for today: I will set aside some time at the end of the day to commune with my Higher Power. I will review the past day, meditating on what stands between me and my Higher Power's will for my life.
pg. 145
Spiritual Measurement
Spiritual Measurement
Our moment-to-moment spirituality can be easily measured by our ability or, inability, to offer love and tolerance to others. Of course we must also walk a bit of a tightrope in that we should not allow ourselves to be abused verbally, emotionally, physically, or spiritually lest we find ourselves in co-dependency. We not only have the right, but also the human and spiritual need to speak our truth appropriately when people or institutions step on our toes. It is also a good idea to recognize that we are all human and at different levels of spiritual growth.
Our moment-to-moment spirituality can be easily measured by our ability or, inability, to offer love and tolerance to others. Of course we must also walk a bit of a tightrope in that we should not allow ourselves to be abused verbally, emotionally, physically, or spiritually lest we find ourselves in co-dependency. We not only have the right, but also the human and spiritual need to speak our truth appropriately when people or institutions step on our toes. It is also a good idea to recognize that we are all human and at different levels of spiritual growth.
twenty-four hours a day for May 18
twenty-four hours a day for May 18
twenty-four hours a day for May 18
A.A. Thought for the Day
We're in A.A. for two main reasons: to keep sober ourselves and to help others to keep sober. It's a well-known fact that helping others is a big part of keeping sober yourself. It's also been proved that it's very hard to keep sober all by yourself. A lot of people have tried it and failed. They come to a few A.A. meetings and then stay sober alone for a few months, but usually they eventually get drunk. DO I KNOW THAT I CAN'T STAY SOBER SUCCESSFULLY ALONE?
Meditation for the Day
Look by faith into that place beyond space or time where God dwells and whence you came and to which you shall eventually return. "Look unto Him and be awed." To look beyond material things is within the power of everyone's imagination. Faith's look saves you from despair. Faith's look saves you from worry and care. Faith's look brings a peace beyond all understanding. Faith's look brings you all the strength you need. Faith's look gives you a new and vital power and a wonderful peace and serenity.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may have faith's look. I pray that by faith I may look beyond the now to eternal life.
twenty-four hours a day for May 18
A.A. Thought for the Day
We're in A.A. for two main reasons: to keep sober ourselves and to help others to keep sober. It's a well-known fact that helping others is a big part of keeping sober yourself. It's also been proved that it's very hard to keep sober all by yourself. A lot of people have tried it and failed. They come to a few A.A. meetings and then stay sober alone for a few months, but usually they eventually get drunk. DO I KNOW THAT I CAN'T STAY SOBER SUCCESSFULLY ALONE?
Meditation for the Day
Look by faith into that place beyond space or time where God dwells and whence you came and to which you shall eventually return. "Look unto Him and be awed." To look beyond material things is within the power of everyone's imagination. Faith's look saves you from despair. Faith's look saves you from worry and care. Faith's look brings a peace beyond all understanding. Faith's look brings you all the strength you need. Faith's look gives you a new and vital power and a wonderful peace and serenity.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may have faith's look. I pray that by faith I may look beyond the now to eternal life.
daily reflections for May 18- FREEDOM TO BE ME
daily reflections for May 18- FREEDOM TO BE ME
daily reflections for May 18- FREEDOM TO BE ME
daily reflections for May 18- FREEDOM TO BE ME
Freedom To Be Me
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
Alcoholics Anonymous,p.83
My first true freedom is the freedom not to have to take a drink today. If I truly want it, I will work the Twelve Steps and the happiness of this freedom will come to me through the Steps-- sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. Other freedoms will follow, and inventorying them is a new happiess. I had a new freedom today, the freedom to be me. I have the freedom to be the best me I have ever been.
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
Alcoholics Anonymous,p.83
My first true freedom is the freedom not to have to take a drink today. If I truly want it, I will work the Twelve Steps and the happiness of this freedom will come to me through the Steps-- sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. Other freedoms will follow, and inventorying them is a new happiess. I had a new freedom today, the freedom to be me. I have the freedom to be the best me I have ever been.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Just for Today - May 18 - Friends And Amends—Keeping It Simple
Just for Today - May 18 - Friends And Amends—Keeping It Simple
Friends And Amends—Keeping It Simple
"We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." - Step Nine
In every relationship, we don't always handle things the way we would have hoped. But friendships don't have to end when we make mistakes; instead, we can make amends. If we are sincerely willing to accept the responsibilities involved in friendship and make the amends we owe, those friendships can become stronger and richer than ever.
Making amends is simple. We approach the person we have harmed and say, "I was wrong."Sometimes we avoid getting to the point, evading an admission of our own part in the affair. But that frustrates the intent of the Ninth Step. To make effective amends, we have to keep it simple: we admit our part, and leave it at that.
There will be times when our friends won't accept our amends. Perhaps they need time to process what has happened. If that is the case, we must give them that time. After all, we were the ones in the wrong, not them. We have done our part; the rest is out of our hands.
Just for today: I want to be a responsible friend. I will strive to keep it simple when making amends.
Friends And Amends—Keeping It Simple
"We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." - Step Nine
In every relationship, we don't always handle things the way we would have hoped. But friendships don't have to end when we make mistakes; instead, we can make amends. If we are sincerely willing to accept the responsibilities involved in friendship and make the amends we owe, those friendships can become stronger and richer than ever.
Making amends is simple. We approach the person we have harmed and say, "I was wrong."Sometimes we avoid getting to the point, evading an admission of our own part in the affair. But that frustrates the intent of the Ninth Step. To make effective amends, we have to keep it simple: we admit our part, and leave it at that.
There will be times when our friends won't accept our amends. Perhaps they need time to process what has happened. If that is the case, we must give them that time. After all, we were the ones in the wrong, not them. We have done our part; the rest is out of our hands.
Just for today: I want to be a responsible friend. I will strive to keep it simple when making amends.
twenty-four hours a day for May 17
twenty-four hours a day for May 17
A.A. Thought for the Day
A lot of well-meaning people treat alcoholics like the priest and the Levite. They pass by on the other side by scorning them or telling them what low people they are, with no willpower. Whereas, they really have fallen for alcohol, in the same way as the man in the story fell among robbers. And the member of A.A. who is working with others is like the Good Samaritan. Am I moved with compassion? DO I TAKE CARE OF ANOTHER ALCOHOLIC WHENEVER I CAN?
Meditation for the Day
I must constantly live in preparation for something better to come. All of life is a preparation for something better. I must anticipate the morning to come. I must feel, in the night of sorrow, that understanding joy that tells of confident expectations of better things to come. "Sorrow may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." Know that God has something better in store for you, as long as you are making yourself ready for it. All your existence in this world is a training for a better life to come.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that when life is over, I will return to an eternal, spaceless life with God. I pray that I may make this life a preparation for a better life to come.
A.A. Thought for the Day
A lot of well-meaning people treat alcoholics like the priest and the Levite. They pass by on the other side by scorning them or telling them what low people they are, with no willpower. Whereas, they really have fallen for alcohol, in the same way as the man in the story fell among robbers. And the member of A.A. who is working with others is like the Good Samaritan. Am I moved with compassion? DO I TAKE CARE OF ANOTHER ALCOHOLIC WHENEVER I CAN?
Meditation for the Day
I must constantly live in preparation for something better to come. All of life is a preparation for something better. I must anticipate the morning to come. I must feel, in the night of sorrow, that understanding joy that tells of confident expectations of better things to come. "Sorrow may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." Know that God has something better in store for you, as long as you are making yourself ready for it. All your existence in this world is a training for a better life to come.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that when life is over, I will return to an eternal, spaceless life with God. I pray that I may make this life a preparation for a better life to come.
daily reflections for May 17-...AND FORGIVE
daily reflections for May 17-...AND FORGIVE
... And Forgive
Under very trying conditions I have had, again and again, to forgive others-- also myself.
As Bill Sees It,p.268
Forgiveness of self and forgiveness of others are just two currents in the same river, both hindered or shut off completely by the dam of resentment. Once that dam is lifted, both currents can flow. The Steps of A.A. allow me to see how resentment has built up and subsequently blocked off this flow in my life. The Steps provide a way by which my resentments may-- by the grace of God as I understand Him-- be lifted. It is as a result of this solution that I can find the necessary grace which enables me to forgive myself and others.
.
... And Forgive
Under very trying conditions I have had, again and again, to forgive others-- also myself.
As Bill Sees It,p.268
Forgiveness of self and forgiveness of others are just two currents in the same river, both hindered or shut off completely by the dam of resentment. Once that dam is lifted, both currents can flow. The Steps of A.A. allow me to see how resentment has built up and subsequently blocked off this flow in my life. The Steps provide a way by which my resentments may-- by the grace of God as I understand Him-- be lifted. It is as a result of this solution that I can find the necessary grace which enables me to forgive myself and others.
.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Just for Today - May 17 - Defects
Just for Today - May 17 - Defects
"Defects"
"We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."
Step Six
After taking the Fifth Step, many of us spend some time considering "the exact nature of our wrongs" and the part they'd played in making us who we were. What would our lives be like without, say, our arrogance?
Sure, arrogance had kept us apart from our fellows, preventing us from enjoying and learning from them. But arrogance had also served us well, propping up our ego in the face of critically low self-esteem. What advantage would be gained if our arrogance were removed, and what support would we be left with?
With arrogance gone, we would be one step closer to being restored to our proper place among others. We would become capable of appreciating their company and their wisdom and their challenges as their equals. Our support and guidance would come, if we chose, from the care offered us by our Higher Power; "low self-esteem" would cease to be an issue.
One by one, we examined our character defects this way, and found them all defective—after all, that's why they're called defects. And were we entirely ready to have God remove all of them? Yes.
Just for today: I will thoroughly consider all my defects of character to discover whether I am ready to have the God of my understanding remove them.
pg. 143
"Defects"
"We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."
Step Six
After taking the Fifth Step, many of us spend some time considering "the exact nature of our wrongs" and the part they'd played in making us who we were. What would our lives be like without, say, our arrogance?
Sure, arrogance had kept us apart from our fellows, preventing us from enjoying and learning from them. But arrogance had also served us well, propping up our ego in the face of critically low self-esteem. What advantage would be gained if our arrogance were removed, and what support would we be left with?
With arrogance gone, we would be one step closer to being restored to our proper place among others. We would become capable of appreciating their company and their wisdom and their challenges as their equals. Our support and guidance would come, if we chose, from the care offered us by our Higher Power; "low self-esteem" would cease to be an issue.
One by one, we examined our character defects this way, and found them all defective—after all, that's why they're called defects. And were we entirely ready to have God remove all of them? Yes.
Just for today: I will thoroughly consider all my defects of character to discover whether I am ready to have the God of my understanding remove them.
pg. 143
twenty-four hours a day for May 16
twenty-four hours a day for May 16
A.A. Thought for the Day
In the story of the Good Samaritan, the wayfarer fell among robbers and was left lying in the gutter, half dead. And a priest and a Levite both passed by on the other side of the road. But the Good Samaritan was moved with compassion and came to him and bound up his wounds and brought him to an inn and took care of him. DO I TREAT ANOTHER ALCOHOLIC LIKE THE PRIEST AND THE LEVITE OR LIKE THE GOOD SAMARITAN?
Meditation for the Day
Never weary in prayer. When one day you see how unexpectedly your prayer has been answered, then you will deeply regret that you have prayed so little. Prayer changes things for you. Practice praying until your trust in God has become strong. And then pray on, because it has become so much a habit that you need it daily. Keep praying until prayer seems to become communion with God. That is the note on which true times of prayer should end.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may form the habit of daily prayer. I pray that I may find the strength I need, as a result of this communion.
A.A. Thought for the Day
In the story of the Good Samaritan, the wayfarer fell among robbers and was left lying in the gutter, half dead. And a priest and a Levite both passed by on the other side of the road. But the Good Samaritan was moved with compassion and came to him and bound up his wounds and brought him to an inn and took care of him. DO I TREAT ANOTHER ALCOHOLIC LIKE THE PRIEST AND THE LEVITE OR LIKE THE GOOD SAMARITAN?
Meditation for the Day
Never weary in prayer. When one day you see how unexpectedly your prayer has been answered, then you will deeply regret that you have prayed so little. Prayer changes things for you. Practice praying until your trust in God has become strong. And then pray on, because it has become so much a habit that you need it daily. Keep praying until prayer seems to become communion with God. That is the note on which true times of prayer should end.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may form the habit of daily prayer. I pray that I may find the strength I need, as a result of this communion.
Just for Today - May 16 - Our Higher Power's Will
Just for Today - May 16 - Our Higher Power's Will
Our Higher Power's Will
"God's will for us becomes our own true will for ourselves."
Basic Text, p. 46
The Twelve Steps are a path to spiritual awakening. This awakening takes the form of a developing relationship with a loving Higher Power. Each succeeding step strengthens that relationship. As we continue to work the steps, the relationship grows, becoming ever more important in our lives.
In the course of working the steps, we make a personal decision to allow a loving Higher Power to direct us. That guidance is always available; we need only the patience to seek it. Often, that guidance manifests itself in the inner wisdom we call our conscience.
When we open our hearts wide enough to sense our Higher Power's guidance, we feel a calm serenity. This peace is the beacon that guides us through our troubled feelings, providing clear direction when our minds are busy and confused. When we seek and follow God's will in our lives, we find the contentment and joy that often elude us when we strike out on our own. Fear or doubt may plague us when we attempt to carry out our Higher Power's will, but we've learned to trust the moment of clarity. Our greatest happiness lies in following the will of our loving God.
Just for today: I will seek to strengthen my relationship with my Higher Power. I know from experience that knowledge of my Higher Power's will provides a sense of clarity, direction, and peace.
pg. 142
.
Our Higher Power's Will
"God's will for us becomes our own true will for ourselves."
Basic Text, p. 46
The Twelve Steps are a path to spiritual awakening. This awakening takes the form of a developing relationship with a loving Higher Power. Each succeeding step strengthens that relationship. As we continue to work the steps, the relationship grows, becoming ever more important in our lives.
In the course of working the steps, we make a personal decision to allow a loving Higher Power to direct us. That guidance is always available; we need only the patience to seek it. Often, that guidance manifests itself in the inner wisdom we call our conscience.
When we open our hearts wide enough to sense our Higher Power's guidance, we feel a calm serenity. This peace is the beacon that guides us through our troubled feelings, providing clear direction when our minds are busy and confused. When we seek and follow God's will in our lives, we find the contentment and joy that often elude us when we strike out on our own. Fear or doubt may plague us when we attempt to carry out our Higher Power's will, but we've learned to trust the moment of clarity. Our greatest happiness lies in following the will of our loving God.
Just for today: I will seek to strengthen my relationship with my Higher Power. I know from experience that knowledge of my Higher Power's will provides a sense of clarity, direction, and peace.
pg. 142
.
daily reflections for May 16-WE FORGIVE
daily reflections for May 16-WE FORGIVE
We Forgive ...
Often it was while working on this Step with our sponsors or spiritual advisors that we first felt truly able to forgive others, no matter how deeply we felt they had wronged us. Our moral inventory had persuaded us that all-round forgiveness was desirable, but it was only when we resolutely tackled Step Five that we inwardly knew we'd be able to receive forgiveness and give it,too.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditionsw,p.58
What a great feeling forgiveness is! What a revelation about my emotional, psychological and spiritual nature. All it takes is willingness to forgive; God will do the rest.
.
We Forgive ...
Often it was while working on this Step with our sponsors or spiritual advisors that we first felt truly able to forgive others, no matter how deeply we felt they had wronged us. Our moral inventory had persuaded us that all-round forgiveness was desirable, but it was only when we resolutely tackled Step Five that we inwardly knew we'd be able to receive forgiveness and give it,too.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditionsw,p.58
What a great feeling forgiveness is! What a revelation about my emotional, psychological and spiritual nature. All it takes is willingness to forgive; God will do the rest.
.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Just for Today - May 16 - Our Higher Power's Will
Just for Today - May 16 - Our Higher Power's Will
Our Higher Power's Will
"God's will for us becomes our own true will for ourselves."
Basic Text, p. 46
The Twelve Steps are a path to spiritual awakening. This awakening takes the form of a developing relationship with a loving Higher Power. Each succeeding step strengthens that relationship. As we continue to work the steps, the relationship grows, becoming ever more important in our lives.
In the course of working the steps, we make a personal decision to allow a loving Higher Power to direct us. That guidance is always available; we need only the patience to seek it. Often, that guidance manifests itself in the inner wisdom we call our conscience.
When we open our hearts wide enough to sense our Higher Power's guidance, we feel a calm serenity. This peace is the beacon that guides us through our troubled feelings, providing clear direction when our minds are busy and confused. When we seek and follow God's will in our lives, we find the contentment and joy that often elude us when we strike out on our own. Fear or doubt may plague us when we attempt to carry out our Higher Power's will, but we've learned to trust the moment of clarity. Our greatest happiness lies in following the will of our loving God.
Just for today: I will seek to strengthen my relationship with my Higher Power. I know from experience that knowledge of my Higher Power's will provides a sense of clarity, direction, and peace.
pg. 142
.
Our Higher Power's Will
"God's will for us becomes our own true will for ourselves."
Basic Text, p. 46
The Twelve Steps are a path to spiritual awakening. This awakening takes the form of a developing relationship with a loving Higher Power. Each succeeding step strengthens that relationship. As we continue to work the steps, the relationship grows, becoming ever more important in our lives.
In the course of working the steps, we make a personal decision to allow a loving Higher Power to direct us. That guidance is always available; we need only the patience to seek it. Often, that guidance manifests itself in the inner wisdom we call our conscience.
When we open our hearts wide enough to sense our Higher Power's guidance, we feel a calm serenity. This peace is the beacon that guides us through our troubled feelings, providing clear direction when our minds are busy and confused. When we seek and follow God's will in our lives, we find the contentment and joy that often elude us when we strike out on our own. Fear or doubt may plague us when we attempt to carry out our Higher Power's will, but we've learned to trust the moment of clarity. Our greatest happiness lies in following the will of our loving God.
Just for today: I will seek to strengthen my relationship with my Higher Power. I know from experience that knowledge of my Higher Power's will provides a sense of clarity, direction, and peace.
pg. 142
.
twenty-four hours a day for May 15
twenty-four hours a day for May 15
A.A. Thought for the Day
In A.A. we find a new strength and peace from the realization that there must be a Power greater than ourselves that is running the universe and that is on our side when we live a good life. So the A.A. program really never ends. You begin by overcoming drink and you go on from there to many new opportunities for happiness and usefulness. AM I REALLY ENJOYING THE FULL BENEFITS OF A.A.?
Meditation for the Day
"Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you." We should not seek material things first, but seek spiritual things first and material things will come to us, as we honestly work for them. Many people seek material things first and think they can then grow into knowledge of spiritual things. You cannot serve God and Mammon at the same time. The first requisites of an abundant life are the spiritual things: honesty, purity, unselfishness, and love. Until you have these qualities, quantities of material things are of little real use to you.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may put much effort into acquiring spiritual things. I pray that I may not expect good things until I am right spiritually.
A.A. Thought for the Day
In A.A. we find a new strength and peace from the realization that there must be a Power greater than ourselves that is running the universe and that is on our side when we live a good life. So the A.A. program really never ends. You begin by overcoming drink and you go on from there to many new opportunities for happiness and usefulness. AM I REALLY ENJOYING THE FULL BENEFITS OF A.A.?
Meditation for the Day
"Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you." We should not seek material things first, but seek spiritual things first and material things will come to us, as we honestly work for them. Many people seek material things first and think they can then grow into knowledge of spiritual things. You cannot serve God and Mammon at the same time. The first requisites of an abundant life are the spiritual things: honesty, purity, unselfishness, and love. Until you have these qualities, quantities of material things are of little real use to you.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may put much effort into acquiring spiritual things. I pray that I may not expect good things until I am right spiritually.
daily reflections for May 15-KNOW GOD; KNOW PEACE
daily reflections for May 15-KNOW GOD; KNOW PEACE
Know God; Know Peace
It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. ... But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave.
Alcoholics Anonymous,p.66
Know God;
Know peace.
No God;
No peace.
It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. ... But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave.
Alcoholics Anonymous,p.66
Know God;
Know peace.
No God;
No peace.
Just for Today - May 15 - Fear Of the Fourth Step
Just for Today - May 15 - Fear Of the Fourth Step
Fear Of the Fourth Step
"As we approach this step, most of us are afraid that there is a monster inside of us that, if released, will destroy us." - Basic Text, p. 27
Most of us are terrified to look at ourselves, to probe our insides. We're afraid that if we examine our actions and motives, we'll find a bottomless black pit of selfishness and hatred. But as we take the Fourth Step, we'll find that those fears were unwarranted. We're human, just like everyone else—no more, no less.
We all have personality traits that we're not especially proud of. On a bad day, we may think that our faults are worse than anyone else's. We'll have moments of self-doubt. We'll question our motives. We may even question our very existence. But if we could read the minds of our fellow members, we'd find the same struggles. We're no better or worse than anyone else.
We can only change what we acknowledge and understand. Rather than continuing to fear what's buried inside us, we can bring it out into the open. We'll no longer be frightened, and our recovery will flourish in the full light of self-awareness.
Just for today: I fear what I don't know. I will expose my fears and allow them to vanish.
Fear Of the Fourth Step
"As we approach this step, most of us are afraid that there is a monster inside of us that, if released, will destroy us." - Basic Text, p. 27
Most of us are terrified to look at ourselves, to probe our insides. We're afraid that if we examine our actions and motives, we'll find a bottomless black pit of selfishness and hatred. But as we take the Fourth Step, we'll find that those fears were unwarranted. We're human, just like everyone else—no more, no less.
We all have personality traits that we're not especially proud of. On a bad day, we may think that our faults are worse than anyone else's. We'll have moments of self-doubt. We'll question our motives. We may even question our very existence. But if we could read the minds of our fellow members, we'd find the same struggles. We're no better or worse than anyone else.
We can only change what we acknowledge and understand. Rather than continuing to fear what's buried inside us, we can bring it out into the open. We'll no longer be frightened, and our recovery will flourish in the full light of self-awareness.
Just for today: I fear what I don't know. I will expose my fears and allow them to vanish.
Monday, May 14, 2012
daily reflections for May 14-IT'S OKAY TO BE ME
daily reflections for May 14-IT'S OKAY TO BE ME
It's Okay To Be Me
Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. ... they have turned to easier methods. ... But they had not learned humility. ...
Alcoholics Anonymous,pp.72-73
Humility sounds so much like humiliation, but it really is the ability to look at myself-- and honestly accept what I find. I no longer need to be the "smartest" or "dumbest" or any other "est." Finally, it is okay to be me. It is easier for me to accept myself if I share my whole life. If I cannot share in meetings, then I had better have a sponsor-- someone with whom I can share those "certain facts" that could lead me back to a drunk, to death. I need to take all the Steps. I need the Fifth Step to learn true humility. Easier methods do not work.
.
It's Okay To Be Me
Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. ... they have turned to easier methods. ... But they had not learned humility. ...
Alcoholics Anonymous,pp.72-73
Humility sounds so much like humiliation, but it really is the ability to look at myself-- and honestly accept what I find. I no longer need to be the "smartest" or "dumbest" or any other "est." Finally, it is okay to be me. It is easier for me to accept myself if I share my whole life. If I cannot share in meetings, then I had better have a sponsor-- someone with whom I can share those "certain facts" that could lead me back to a drunk, to death. I need to take all the Steps. I need the Fifth Step to learn true humility. Easier methods do not work.
.
twenty-four hours a day for May 14
twenty-four hours a day for May 14
A.A. Thought for the Day
Having gotten over drinking, we have only just begun to enjoy the benefits of A.A. We find new friends, so that we are no longer lonely. We find new relationships with our families, so that we are happy at home. We find release from our troubles and worries through a new way of looking at things. We find an outlet for our energies in helping other people. AM I ENJOYING THESE BENEFITS OF A.A.?
Meditation for the Day
The kingdom of heaven is within you. God sees, as no one can see, what is within you. He sees you growing more and more like Himself. That is your reason for existence, to grow more and more like God, to develop more and more the spirit of God within you. You can often see in others those qualities and aspirations that you yourself possess. So also can God recognize His own spirit in you. Your motives and aspirations can only be understood by those who have attained the same spiritual level as you have.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may not expect complete understanding from others. I pray that I may only expect this from God, as I try to grow more like Him.
A.A. Thought for the Day
Having gotten over drinking, we have only just begun to enjoy the benefits of A.A. We find new friends, so that we are no longer lonely. We find new relationships with our families, so that we are happy at home. We find release from our troubles and worries through a new way of looking at things. We find an outlet for our energies in helping other people. AM I ENJOYING THESE BENEFITS OF A.A.?
Meditation for the Day
The kingdom of heaven is within you. God sees, as no one can see, what is within you. He sees you growing more and more like Himself. That is your reason for existence, to grow more and more like God, to develop more and more the spirit of God within you. You can often see in others those qualities and aspirations that you yourself possess. So also can God recognize His own spirit in you. Your motives and aspirations can only be understood by those who have attained the same spiritual level as you have.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may not expect complete understanding from others. I pray that I may only expect this from God, as I try to grow more like Him.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Just for Today - May 14 - Oops!
Just for Today - May 14 - Oops!
Oops!
"Insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results."
Basic Text, p. 23
Mistakes! We all know how it feels to make them. Many of us feel that our entire lives have been a mistake. We often regard our mistakes with shame or guilt—at the very least, with frustration and impatience. We tend to see mistakes as evidence that we are still sick, crazy, stupid, or too damaged to recover.
In truth, mistakes are a very vital and important part of being human. For particularly stubborn people (such as addicts), mistakes are often our best teachers. There is no shame in making mistakes. In fact, making new mistakes often shows our willingness to take risks and grow.
It's helpful, though, if we learn from our mistakes; repeating the same ones may be a sign that we're stuck. And expecting different results from the same old mistakes—well, that's what we call "insanity!" It just doesn't work.
Just for today: Mistakes aren't tragedies. But please, Higher Power, help me learn from them!
pg. 140
.
Oops!
"Insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results."
Basic Text, p. 23
Mistakes! We all know how it feels to make them. Many of us feel that our entire lives have been a mistake. We often regard our mistakes with shame or guilt—at the very least, with frustration and impatience. We tend to see mistakes as evidence that we are still sick, crazy, stupid, or too damaged to recover.
In truth, mistakes are a very vital and important part of being human. For particularly stubborn people (such as addicts), mistakes are often our best teachers. There is no shame in making mistakes. In fact, making new mistakes often shows our willingness to take risks and grow.
It's helpful, though, if we learn from our mistakes; repeating the same ones may be a sign that we're stuck. And expecting different results from the same old mistakes—well, that's what we call "insanity!" It just doesn't work.
Just for today: Mistakes aren't tragedies. But please, Higher Power, help me learn from them!
pg. 140
.
daily reflections for May 13-THE EASIER, SOFTER WAY
daily reflections for May 13-THE EASIER, SOFTER WAY
The Easier, Softer Way
If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking.
Alcoholics Anonymous,p.72
I certainly didn't leap at the opportunity to face who I was, especially when the pains of my drinking days hung over me like a dark cloud. But I soon heard at the meetings about the fellow member who just didn't want to take Step Five and kept coming back to meetings, trembling from the horrors of reliving his past. The easier, softer way is to take these Steps to freedom from our fatal disease, and to put our faith in the Fellowship and our Higher Power.
The Easier, Softer Way
If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking.
Alcoholics Anonymous,p.72
I certainly didn't leap at the opportunity to face who I was, especially when the pains of my drinking days hung over me like a dark cloud. But I soon heard at the meetings about the fellow member who just didn't want to take Step Five and kept coming back to meetings, trembling from the horrors of reliving his past. The easier, softer way is to take these Steps to freedom from our fatal disease, and to put our faith in the Fellowship and our Higher Power.
daily reflections for May 13-THE EASIER, SOFTER WAY
daily reflections for May 13-THE EASIER, SOFTER WAY
The Easier, Softer Way
If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking.
Alcoholics Anonymous,p.72
I certainly didn't leap at the opportunity to face who I was, especially when the pains of my drinking days hung over me like a dark cloud. But I soon heard at the meetings about the fellow member who just didn't want to take Step Five and kept coming back to meetings, trembling from the horrors of reliving his past. The easier, softer way is to take these Steps to freedom from our fatal disease, and to put our faith in the Fellowship and our Higher Power.
.
The Easier, Softer Way
If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking.
Alcoholics Anonymous,p.72
I certainly didn't leap at the opportunity to face who I was, especially when the pains of my drinking days hung over me like a dark cloud. But I soon heard at the meetings about the fellow member who just didn't want to take Step Five and kept coming back to meetings, trembling from the horrors of reliving his past. The easier, softer way is to take these Steps to freedom from our fatal disease, and to put our faith in the Fellowship and our Higher Power.
.
twenty-four hours a day for May 13
twenty-four hours a day for May 13
A.A. Thought for the Day
In A.A. we find fellowship and release and strength. And having found these things, the real reasons for our drinking are taken away. Then drinking has no more justification in our minds. We no longer need to fight against drink. Drink just naturally leaves us. At first, we are sorry that we can't drink, but we get so that we are glad that we don't have to drink. AM I GLAD THAT I DON'T HAVE TO DRINK?
Meditation for the Day
Try never to judge. The human mind is so delicate and so complex that only its Maker can know it wholly. Each mind is so different, actuated by such different motives, controlled by such different sufferings, you cannot know all the influences that have gone to make up a personality. Therefore, it is impossible for you to wholly judge that personality. But God knows that person wholly and He can change it. Leave to God the unraveling of the puzzles of personality. And leave it to God to teach you the proper understanding.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may not judge other people. I pray that I may be certain that God can set right what is wrong in every personality.
A.A. Thought for the Day
In A.A. we find fellowship and release and strength. And having found these things, the real reasons for our drinking are taken away. Then drinking has no more justification in our minds. We no longer need to fight against drink. Drink just naturally leaves us. At first, we are sorry that we can't drink, but we get so that we are glad that we don't have to drink. AM I GLAD THAT I DON'T HAVE TO DRINK?
Meditation for the Day
Try never to judge. The human mind is so delicate and so complex that only its Maker can know it wholly. Each mind is so different, actuated by such different motives, controlled by such different sufferings, you cannot know all the influences that have gone to make up a personality. Therefore, it is impossible for you to wholly judge that personality. But God knows that person wholly and He can change it. Leave to God the unraveling of the puzzles of personality. And leave it to God to teach you the proper understanding.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may not judge other people. I pray that I may be certain that God can set right what is wrong in every personality.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
Milkman's Reflections - Dry Drunk
Milkman's Reflections - Dry Drunk
Dry Drunk
I've heard a few people ask what the term "Dry Drunk" means The following article seems to explain it very well. After reading it, it explained a few things to me that I wasn't aware of. I know that I've had feeling of being a "Dry Drunk", but after reading this, it makes me aware, that I'm going to have my ups and downs, and it doesn't necessarily mean that I'm in that Syndrome. I've just got to deal with the day to day situations as best that I can. Hope this article ...............
Dry Drunk
I've heard a few people ask what the term "Dry Drunk" means The following article seems to explain it very well. After reading it, it explained a few things to me that I wasn't aware of. I know that I've had feeling of being a "Dry Drunk", but after reading this, it makes me aware, that I'm going to have my ups and downs, and it doesn't necessarily mean that I'm in that Syndrome. I've just got to deal with the day to day situations as best that I can. Hope this article ...............
Sunday, March 18, 2012
My friend Kosloff
I've known Mike for close to 50 years and visit him when I get down to the peninsula. He played music and entertained people all his life and continues that lifestyle. Here are some pictures and a couple of videos I took at his house last year. I plan on visiting him again soon and will update here on my blog. Anyone from 1964 El Camino High will probably remember him Enjoy
Mike Olson
Class of '64
Mike Olson
Class of '64
 |
| Mike Kosloff and Mike Olson 50+ years later |
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
My Son's Wedding (Mackey & Margaret)
I put this together with Picasa on the spur of the moment. The first I've done.
It wasn't until I finished it that I realized the pictures should have been put in
a different order. Oh well, you'll get the idea, lol.
That was a few months ago, and the newlyweds are living happily
up in Chico, California.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 24 - Peeling the Onion
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 24 - Peeling the Onion
The Fourth Sep heralds a new ere in our recovery. Steps Four through Nine can be thought of as a process within a process. We will use the information we find in working the Fourth Step to work our Fifth, Sixth, Seventh, Eight, and Ninth Steps. This process is meant to be done over and over again in recovery.
There is an analogy for this process that is particularly apt. We can think of ourselves as an onion. Each time we begin a Fourth Step, we are peeling away a layer of the onion and getting closer to the core. Each layer of the onion represents another layer of denial, the disease of addiction, our character defects, and the harm we’ve caused. The core represents the pure and healthy spirit that lies at the center of each one of us. It is our goal in recovery to have a spiritual awakening, and we get closer to that by beginning this process. Our spirits awaken a little more each time we go through it.
The Fourth Step is a method for learning about ourselves, and it is as much about finding our character assets as it is about identifying the exact nature of our wrongs. The inventory process is also an avenue to freedom. We have been prohibited from being free for so long-probably all our lives. Many of us have discovered, as we worked the Fourth Step, that our problems didn’t begin the first time we took drugs, but long before, when the seeds of our addiction were actually planted. We may have felt isolated and different long before we took drugs. In fact, the way we felt and the forces that drove us are completely enmeshed with our addiction; it was our desire to change the way we felt and to subdue those forces that led us to take our first drug. Our inventory will lay bare the unresolved pain and conflicts in our past so that we are no longer at their mercy. We’ll have a choice. We’ll have achieved a measure of freedom.
The Fourth Sep heralds a new ere in our recovery. Steps Four through Nine can be thought of as a process within a process. We will use the information we find in working the Fourth Step to work our Fifth, Sixth, Seventh, Eight, and Ninth Steps. This process is meant to be done over and over again in recovery.
There is an analogy for this process that is particularly apt. We can think of ourselves as an onion. Each time we begin a Fourth Step, we are peeling away a layer of the onion and getting closer to the core. Each layer of the onion represents another layer of denial, the disease of addiction, our character defects, and the harm we’ve caused. The core represents the pure and healthy spirit that lies at the center of each one of us. It is our goal in recovery to have a spiritual awakening, and we get closer to that by beginning this process. Our spirits awaken a little more each time we go through it.
The Fourth Step is a method for learning about ourselves, and it is as much about finding our character assets as it is about identifying the exact nature of our wrongs. The inventory process is also an avenue to freedom. We have been prohibited from being free for so long-probably all our lives. Many of us have discovered, as we worked the Fourth Step, that our problems didn’t begin the first time we took drugs, but long before, when the seeds of our addiction were actually planted. We may have felt isolated and different long before we took drugs. In fact, the way we felt and the forces that drove us are completely enmeshed with our addiction; it was our desire to change the way we felt and to subdue those forces that led us to take our first drug. Our inventory will lay bare the unresolved pain and conflicts in our past so that we are no longer at their mercy. We’ll have a choice. We’ll have achieved a measure of freedom.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 16 - Courage and trust
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 16 - Courage and trust
Many of us, having worked the Fourth and Fifth Steps before, knew that this process always resulted in change-in other words, we'd have to stop behaving the same old way! We may not have been entirely sure we wanted that. On the other hand, many of us knew we had to change, but were afraid we couldn't.Two things we need to begin working Step Five are courage and a sense of trust in the process of recovery. If we have both these things, we'll be able to work through more specific fears and go through with the admissions we need to make in this step.
Many of us, having worked the Fourth and Fifth Steps before, knew that this process always resulted in change-in other words, we'd have to stop behaving the same old way! We may not have been entirely sure we wanted that. On the other hand, many of us knew we had to change, but were afraid we couldn't.Two things we need to begin working Step Five are courage and a sense of trust in the process of recovery. If we have both these things, we'll be able to work through more specific fears and go through with the admissions we need to make in this step.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 15 - Listening
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 15 - Listening
ListeningI speak because I know my needs,I speak with hesitation because I know not yours.
My words come from my life's experiences
Your understanding comes from yours.
Because of this, what I say,
And what you hear, may not be the same.
So if you will listen carefully,Not only with your ears,
But with your eyes and with your heart,
Maybe somehow we can communicate.
How often have you heard these statements? "You're not listening to me!"... "Why don't you let me finish what I'm saying?"... "If you only let me, I'll tell you!"... "I may as well be talking to a brick wall!... "You just don't understand!"... "But that's not what I said!"
If you hear any of these comments coming from your partner, children, friends, or co-workers, perhaps it's true that "you're not listening"--really listening to the people who are important in your life. Listening is the art of connecting with another person so you fully understand what they are saying and feeling. It is a vital and necessary skill needed in creating and maintaining a marriage, in parenting children effectively, and in working together and making effective decisions on the job.
I’ve had a problem with listening to others thru the years and sometimes still do. I am aware of it today so I try to do something about it. Somehow we get in the habit of thinking about what WE want to say instead of listening to what the other person is saying. Sometimes I catch myself starting to talk and then stop……. And my mind has just registered a word or two that the other person was saying before I interrupted them and it was something I wanted to hear. It’s kind of embarrassing when that happens but it doesn’t happen too often these days for me. I have learned to look at the eyes of the person speaking and try my best to concentrate on their words.
Everyone has something to say and they want to be heard just like you and I do. Lets try to be better listeners.
ListeningI speak because I know my needs,I speak with hesitation because I know not yours.
My words come from my life's experiences
Your understanding comes from yours.
Because of this, what I say,
And what you hear, may not be the same.
So if you will listen carefully,Not only with your ears,
But with your eyes and with your heart,
Maybe somehow we can communicate.
How often have you heard these statements? "You're not listening to me!"... "Why don't you let me finish what I'm saying?"... "If you only let me, I'll tell you!"... "I may as well be talking to a brick wall!... "You just don't understand!"... "But that's not what I said!"
If you hear any of these comments coming from your partner, children, friends, or co-workers, perhaps it's true that "you're not listening"--really listening to the people who are important in your life. Listening is the art of connecting with another person so you fully understand what they are saying and feeling. It is a vital and necessary skill needed in creating and maintaining a marriage, in parenting children effectively, and in working together and making effective decisions on the job.
I’ve had a problem with listening to others thru the years and sometimes still do. I am aware of it today so I try to do something about it. Somehow we get in the habit of thinking about what WE want to say instead of listening to what the other person is saying. Sometimes I catch myself starting to talk and then stop……. And my mind has just registered a word or two that the other person was saying before I interrupted them and it was something I wanted to hear. It’s kind of embarrassing when that happens but it doesn’t happen too often these days for me. I have learned to look at the eyes of the person speaking and try my best to concentrate on their words.
Everyone has something to say and they want to be heard just like you and I do. Lets try to be better listeners.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 14 - Surrender
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 14 - Surrender
Surrender
There's a huge difference between resignation and surrender. Resignation is what we feel when we've realized we're addicts but haven't yet accepted recovery as the solution to our problem. Many of us found ourselves at this point long before coming to Narcotics Anonymous. We may have thought that it was our destiny to be addicts, to live and die in our addiction. Surrender, on the other hand, is what happens after we've accepted the First Step as something that is true for us and have accepted that recovery is the solution. We don't want our lives to be the way they have been. We don't want to keep feeling the way we've been feeling.
What am I afraid of about the concept of surrender, if anything? What convinces me that I can't use successfully anymore?
Do I accept that I'll never regain control, even after a long period of abstinence?
Can I begin my recovery without a complete surrender?
What would my life be like if I surrendered completely?
Can I continue my recovery without complete surrender?
Surrender
There's a huge difference between resignation and surrender. Resignation is what we feel when we've realized we're addicts but haven't yet accepted recovery as the solution to our problem. Many of us found ourselves at this point long before coming to Narcotics Anonymous. We may have thought that it was our destiny to be addicts, to live and die in our addiction. Surrender, on the other hand, is what happens after we've accepted the First Step as something that is true for us and have accepted that recovery is the solution. We don't want our lives to be the way they have been. We don't want to keep feeling the way we've been feeling.
What am I afraid of about the concept of surrender, if anything? What convinces me that I can't use successfully anymore?
Do I accept that I'll never regain control, even after a long period of abstinence?
Can I begin my recovery without a complete surrender?
What would my life be like if I surrendered completely?
Can I continue my recovery without complete surrender?
Friday, January 13, 2012
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 13 - Progress.. not perfection
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 13 - Progress.. not perfection
Identifying the warning signs of relapse can and will show us our denial. Doing something about the warning signs will help us to recover. For example: As alcoholics/addicts, we have learned to lie as a means of protection for our using, feelings, thinking, and behavior. When we stop using, we may stop lying about it, but we will continue to lie about the rest. And addict at any point in recovery, if he has maintained awareness of his/her denial, will notice when he/she lies. The reasons for lying are always the same. "I don't want you to know what I really feel, think, or do." Recovery does not assume that we will stop lying, but rather teaches us to go back and tell the truth after we have lied. When we practice this enough, we will find that we lie less. It's progress not perfection. Taking a daily inventory or journaling of feelings, thinking, and behavior will help us recognize our denial and give us the opportunity to do something about it.
Identifying the warning signs of relapse can and will show us our denial. Doing something about the warning signs will help us to recover. For example: As alcoholics/addicts, we have learned to lie as a means of protection for our using, feelings, thinking, and behavior. When we stop using, we may stop lying about it, but we will continue to lie about the rest. And addict at any point in recovery, if he has maintained awareness of his/her denial, will notice when he/she lies. The reasons for lying are always the same. "I don't want you to know what I really feel, think, or do." Recovery does not assume that we will stop lying, but rather teaches us to go back and tell the truth after we have lied. When we practice this enough, we will find that we lie less. It's progress not perfection. Taking a daily inventory or journaling of feelings, thinking, and behavior will help us recognize our denial and give us the opportunity to do something about it.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 12 - Saying No
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 12 - Saying No
SAYING "NO".
People who cannot say "No" often do not know what they want or do not want. Frequently, these people think that "No" is a dirty word and that others will not like them if they say it. Being able to say "No" clearly and to mean it are indicators of respecting the self. Doing this means that we are able to take care of our own needs. Not being able to say "No" frequently means that we do not know what we do not want and we also do not know what we do want. Did I say that before? It is not a coincidence that "yes people" end up feeling angry, confused, and used, and not knowing exactly how they got that way.
It is also not a coincidence that people who never say "No" end up with people who rarely say "Yes" to them. These kinds of opposites really do attract each other and together they create a dysfunctional unit. Opposites may attract but similarities stay together. Not being able to say "No" means that we do not trust ourselves - we do not trust that we have rights and needs. It means that we have become more concerned with what other people want and need than we have with ourselves.
People who cannot say "No" are dancing in other people’s heads. This means that they are trying to figure out how to take care of others and, in order to do so, they have to try to figure out what motivates the other person. They are trying to passively coerce the other person into taking care of them. This sounds like manipulation and it is. By never saying "No" to anyone else's demands, or needs, we are expecting them to never say "No" to our own demands and needs. Furthermore, we are expecting them to dance in our heads and to know what we want and need even when we do not. The fact of the matter is that no one can really be in someone else's head; there is only room for one person per head and that is the person who owns the head. Dancing in someone else's head means that we are not spending time in our own heads. It means that we are not taking care of ourselves. It also means that we cannot know what we need and want.
Dance in your own head. Say "No" when you think that you do not want to do what is asked of you. Only say "Yes" to someone else when you are sure that your are giving a clean gift, a gift without strings. This means that you really want to do what is asked or expected of you and that you expect "nothing" back in return. Does this sound selfish? Good, it is. Does this sound self-centered? Only if you do not ever want to do anything for anyone else but you expect them to do everything for you.
People who cannot say "No" are generally very nice people who are trying to be good. These people tend to confuse being nice with being good. They really want to be genuinely helpful and they do not understand why their system produces so much anger and resentment. Once again, the solution lies in faulty training. There is another paradox here and that is that people who can never say "No" are not usually respected by others. Their nice behaviors are taken for granted and they are treated as victims or as not very important. People respect a "No" answer and when they then get a "Yes" answer at another time; they appreciate it more and know that it is real.
Practice saying "No." The world will not fall apart when you do so. Be clear in expressing how you feel. It makes life much simpler for you and for others. You will be surprised at how much people respect a clean, clear "No" and you will feel better about yourself for being truthful and for taking care of yourself. Everyone will win!
SAYING "NO".
People who cannot say "No" often do not know what they want or do not want. Frequently, these people think that "No" is a dirty word and that others will not like them if they say it. Being able to say "No" clearly and to mean it are indicators of respecting the self. Doing this means that we are able to take care of our own needs. Not being able to say "No" frequently means that we do not know what we do not want and we also do not know what we do want. Did I say that before? It is not a coincidence that "yes people" end up feeling angry, confused, and used, and not knowing exactly how they got that way.
It is also not a coincidence that people who never say "No" end up with people who rarely say "Yes" to them. These kinds of opposites really do attract each other and together they create a dysfunctional unit. Opposites may attract but similarities stay together. Not being able to say "No" means that we do not trust ourselves - we do not trust that we have rights and needs. It means that we have become more concerned with what other people want and need than we have with ourselves.
People who cannot say "No" are dancing in other people’s heads. This means that they are trying to figure out how to take care of others and, in order to do so, they have to try to figure out what motivates the other person. They are trying to passively coerce the other person into taking care of them. This sounds like manipulation and it is. By never saying "No" to anyone else's demands, or needs, we are expecting them to never say "No" to our own demands and needs. Furthermore, we are expecting them to dance in our heads and to know what we want and need even when we do not. The fact of the matter is that no one can really be in someone else's head; there is only room for one person per head and that is the person who owns the head. Dancing in someone else's head means that we are not spending time in our own heads. It means that we are not taking care of ourselves. It also means that we cannot know what we need and want.
Dance in your own head. Say "No" when you think that you do not want to do what is asked of you. Only say "Yes" to someone else when you are sure that your are giving a clean gift, a gift without strings. This means that you really want to do what is asked or expected of you and that you expect "nothing" back in return. Does this sound selfish? Good, it is. Does this sound self-centered? Only if you do not ever want to do anything for anyone else but you expect them to do everything for you.
People who cannot say "No" are generally very nice people who are trying to be good. These people tend to confuse being nice with being good. They really want to be genuinely helpful and they do not understand why their system produces so much anger and resentment. Once again, the solution lies in faulty training. There is another paradox here and that is that people who can never say "No" are not usually respected by others. Their nice behaviors are taken for granted and they are treated as victims or as not very important. People respect a "No" answer and when they then get a "Yes" answer at another time; they appreciate it more and know that it is real.
Practice saying "No." The world will not fall apart when you do so. Be clear in expressing how you feel. It makes life much simpler for you and for others. You will be surprised at how much people respect a clean, clear "No" and you will feel better about yourself for being truthful and for taking care of yourself. Everyone will win!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
daily reflections January 10-UNITED WE STAND
daily reflections January 10-UNITED WE STAND
Untied We Stand
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed. Alcoholics Anonymous,p.30
I came to Alcoholics Anonymous because I was no longer able to control my drinking. It was either my wife's complaining about my drinking, or maybe the sheriff forced me to go to A.A. meetings, or perhaps I knew, deep down inside, that I couldn't drink like others, but I was unwilling to admit it because the alternative terrified me. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women united against a common, fatal disease. Each one of our lives is linked to every other, much like the survivors on a life raft at sea. If we all work together, we can get safely to shore.
Untied We Stand
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed. Alcoholics Anonymous,p.30
I came to Alcoholics Anonymous because I was no longer able to control my drinking. It was either my wife's complaining about my drinking, or maybe the sheriff forced me to go to A.A. meetings, or perhaps I knew, deep down inside, that I couldn't drink like others, but I was unwilling to admit it because the alternative terrified me. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women united against a common, fatal disease. Each one of our lives is linked to every other, much like the survivors on a life raft at sea. If we all work together, we can get safely to shore.
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 10 - Substitutes
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 10 - Substitutes
This was a post from one of our members from 2007 but it hits home, as what this man says was true for me also. My subsitute from my addictions was learning computers and designing and maintaining recovery sites for the last 7 years and plan on continuing as long as I can.------------------
Substitutes: ...............
When I first came into sobriety, I had to think of substitutes. No. Not substitutes like…beer for wine….or wine for vodka…. More like: 1) substitutes for the time in the day and night when I picked up. 2) substitutes for the time I was unconscious after picking up. 3) substitutes for the Persons, Places and Things with which I picked up. 4) substitutes for the way in which I thought about picking up. 5) substitutes for the way in which I felt emotionally about picking up. 6) and substitutes for the way in which I had liquefied my spiritual life.
Some of my substitutes were playing in AA softball games, writing poems and short stories, and riding shotgun when taking a wet to a detox.
I sort of gave up on acquaintances with whom I associated when I drank. I didn't see them for a long time.
I had to think of consequences and not passing out to stop the pain. I had to feel the pain inflicted by the big trauma, or my excuse for drinking. I had to remember not to pick at the scab of that sacred wound which had functioned as my invitation to alcohol. Picking at the would is called "rumination"...Chewing emotional hurts over and over and over again. Think of it as picking the scab off...again and again and again. And I wondered why I didn't feel better when I drank. It took fourteen years of therapy...but...things are not perfect, but a darn site more comfortable.
I had to solidify my spiritual life, first through church attendance and then through classes at a seminary. Then came the division of the religious and the spiritual and the broader acceptance of spiritual though the reading of other Religions, Philosophies and Theologies.
The biggest substitute were writing the little check marks in the columns of the fourth step, sharing it, and getting direction on how to do restitution for the garbage.
For some garbage, no restitution will be done. This is some of the institutional garbage. Given the circumstances I could not be responsible for the outcome or the psychotic episode which I was shoved into having.
Yes. I am dually diagnosed which means that I have at least two write ups in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association. A good guesstimate of Dullies in Alcoholics Anonymous is about 35% while the guesstimate for Narcotics Anonymous raises to 50%.
So if you were told everything would get better once you were clean and sober, and now you are clean and sober and you feel like a tilted windmill, maybe you should think about seeing an Addictionologist who is also a Psychiatrist or Doctor of Psychology.
This is the Reader' Digest version of my traipsing around in A. A.
If you have substitutes, could you share them? .
This was a post from one of our members from 2007 but it hits home, as what this man says was true for me also. My subsitute from my addictions was learning computers and designing and maintaining recovery sites for the last 7 years and plan on continuing as long as I can.------------------
Substitutes: ...............
When I first came into sobriety, I had to think of substitutes. No. Not substitutes like…beer for wine….or wine for vodka…. More like: 1) substitutes for the time in the day and night when I picked up. 2) substitutes for the time I was unconscious after picking up. 3) substitutes for the Persons, Places and Things with which I picked up. 4) substitutes for the way in which I thought about picking up. 5) substitutes for the way in which I felt emotionally about picking up. 6) and substitutes for the way in which I had liquefied my spiritual life.
Some of my substitutes were playing in AA softball games, writing poems and short stories, and riding shotgun when taking a wet to a detox.
I sort of gave up on acquaintances with whom I associated when I drank. I didn't see them for a long time.
I had to think of consequences and not passing out to stop the pain. I had to feel the pain inflicted by the big trauma, or my excuse for drinking. I had to remember not to pick at the scab of that sacred wound which had functioned as my invitation to alcohol. Picking at the would is called "rumination"...Chewing emotional hurts over and over and over again. Think of it as picking the scab off...again and again and again. And I wondered why I didn't feel better when I drank. It took fourteen years of therapy...but...things are not perfect, but a darn site more comfortable.
I had to solidify my spiritual life, first through church attendance and then through classes at a seminary. Then came the division of the religious and the spiritual and the broader acceptance of spiritual though the reading of other Religions, Philosophies and Theologies.
The biggest substitute were writing the little check marks in the columns of the fourth step, sharing it, and getting direction on how to do restitution for the garbage.
For some garbage, no restitution will be done. This is some of the institutional garbage. Given the circumstances I could not be responsible for the outcome or the psychotic episode which I was shoved into having.
Yes. I am dually diagnosed which means that I have at least two write ups in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association. A good guesstimate of Dullies in Alcoholics Anonymous is about 35% while the guesstimate for Narcotics Anonymous raises to 50%.
So if you were told everything would get better once you were clean and sober, and now you are clean and sober and you feel like a tilted windmill, maybe you should think about seeing an Addictionologist who is also a Psychiatrist or Doctor of Psychology.
This is the Reader' Digest version of my traipsing around in A. A.
If you have substitutes, could you share them? .
Monday, January 9, 2012
Just for Today - January 10
Just for Today - January 10
Gratitude
"I'm very grateful to have come to believe."
IP No. 21, "The Loner"
Belief in a Higher Power can make all the difference when the going gets tough! When things don't go our way in recovery, our sponsor may direct us to make a "gratitude list." When we do, we should include our faith in a Power greater than ourselves on the list. One of the greatest gifts we receive from the Twelve Steps is our belief in a God of our own understanding.
The Twelve Steps gently lead us toward a spiritual awakening. Just as our addiction progressed, so does our spiritual life develop in the course of working the program of Narcotics Anonymous. The steps are our path to a relationship with a God of our understanding. This Higher Power gives us strength when our road gets rough.
Are we grateful for our deepening relationship with a Higher Power? Do we remember to thank God for each day clean, no matter what has happened that day? Do we remember that, no matter how deep our despair or how great our joy, the God of our understanding is with us?
Our recovery is a gift, a gift that we sometimes take for granted. Each day we stay clean, we can rejoice in our Higher Power's care.
Just for today: I am grateful for my relationship with a Higher Power that cares for me.
pg. 10
Gratitude
"I'm very grateful to have come to believe."
IP No. 21, "The Loner"
Belief in a Higher Power can make all the difference when the going gets tough! When things don't go our way in recovery, our sponsor may direct us to make a "gratitude list." When we do, we should include our faith in a Power greater than ourselves on the list. One of the greatest gifts we receive from the Twelve Steps is our belief in a God of our own understanding.
The Twelve Steps gently lead us toward a spiritual awakening. Just as our addiction progressed, so does our spiritual life develop in the course of working the program of Narcotics Anonymous. The steps are our path to a relationship with a God of our understanding. This Higher Power gives us strength when our road gets rough.
Are we grateful for our deepening relationship with a Higher Power? Do we remember to thank God for each day clean, no matter what has happened that day? Do we remember that, no matter how deep our despair or how great our joy, the God of our understanding is with us?
Our recovery is a gift, a gift that we sometimes take for granted. Each day we stay clean, we can rejoice in our Higher Power's care.
Just for today: I am grateful for my relationship with a Higher Power that cares for me.
pg. 10
daily reflections January 9-AN ACT OF PROVIDENCE
daily reflections January 9-AN ACT OF PROVIDENCE
An Act Of Providence
It is truly awful to admit that, glass in hand, we have warped our minds into such an obsession for destructive drinking that only an act of Providence can remove it from us.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.21
My act of Providence, (a manifestation of divine care and direction), came as I experienced the total bankruptcy of active alcoholism-- everything meaningful in my life was gone. I telephoned Alcoholics Anonymous and, from that instant, my life has never been the same. When I reflect on that very special moment, I know that God was working in my life long before I was able to acknowledge and accept spiritual concepts. The glass was put down though this act of Providence and my journey into sobriety began. My life continues to unfold with divine care and direction. Step One, in which I admitted I was powerless over alcohol, that my life had become unmanageable, takes on more meaning for me-- one day at a time-- in the life-saving, life giving Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.
An Act Of Providence
It is truly awful to admit that, glass in hand, we have warped our minds into such an obsession for destructive drinking that only an act of Providence can remove it from us.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.21
My act of Providence, (a manifestation of divine care and direction), came as I experienced the total bankruptcy of active alcoholism-- everything meaningful in my life was gone. I telephoned Alcoholics Anonymous and, from that instant, my life has never been the same. When I reflect on that very special moment, I know that God was working in my life long before I was able to acknowledge and accept spiritual concepts. The glass was put down though this act of Providence and my journey into sobriety began. My life continues to unfold with divine care and direction. Step One, in which I admitted I was powerless over alcohol, that my life had become unmanageable, takes on more meaning for me-- one day at a time-- in the life-saving, life giving Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 9 - Hitting Bottom
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 9 - Hitting Bottom
Hitting BottomDespair and Isolation
Most alcoholics/addicts eventually hit a bottom in their active addictions. Bottom can be different for each individual, ranging from just not feeling well after drinking too much up to losing everything that you might have and cherish, and sometimes even your life.
I can only speak for myself when I talk about bottoms as it means something different for everyone. For me, I hit a lot of “bottoms” during my drinking days, ending up in jails, losing many material things, jobs, relationships and more, all due to my uncontrolled drinking. Once I had one drink I could not stop. It didn’t matter whether I had money to buy another drink; I always found a way to get one and more. Borrow, beg and/or steal to get that drink. No one was exempt from my attempts to use them to get another drink; family, friends and even people I didn’t like. You were all “fair game” for me. I could sell ice to an Eskimo when it came to needing that drink.
My agenda for so many years was going to jail regularly about every 3 to 4 years, doing on the average of 6 months and having probation when released. I was on either probation or parole from the time I was 15 years old until the age of 55, with very few time spans in between that I wasn’t. As soon as I was released from jail I would seek out the nearest bar or liquor store and it was on again for me.
I believe that I hit my bottom when I was released from prison in 1997 and realized that I had nothing to go back to, as I had known before. I had no home to go to as my wife had left me while I was away. She had finally gotten fed up with my going away and leaving her with all the problems and alone. As parole would not let me go to San Mateo County to my brother’s house, I ended up in the homeless shelter in Napa, as my money ran out quick.
I ended up going back with my wife in 1999 but I had not changed much as far as my drinking went. I still drank when I could get away with it, which was quite often, and she got fed up again and kicked me out. It didn't take long to get another DUI and I ended back in Napa Jail. Knowing I needed help, I did everything I could to get CRC (California Rehabilitation Center) and a program. I got it even though I had to plead to a five-year commitment. I had finally realized that I could not get clean and sober by myself. It was hopeless and futile to try it by myself. I had hit my bottom.
Hitting BottomDespair and Isolation
Most alcoholics/addicts eventually hit a bottom in their active addictions. Bottom can be different for each individual, ranging from just not feeling well after drinking too much up to losing everything that you might have and cherish, and sometimes even your life.
I can only speak for myself when I talk about bottoms as it means something different for everyone. For me, I hit a lot of “bottoms” during my drinking days, ending up in jails, losing many material things, jobs, relationships and more, all due to my uncontrolled drinking. Once I had one drink I could not stop. It didn’t matter whether I had money to buy another drink; I always found a way to get one and more. Borrow, beg and/or steal to get that drink. No one was exempt from my attempts to use them to get another drink; family, friends and even people I didn’t like. You were all “fair game” for me. I could sell ice to an Eskimo when it came to needing that drink.
My agenda for so many years was going to jail regularly about every 3 to 4 years, doing on the average of 6 months and having probation when released. I was on either probation or parole from the time I was 15 years old until the age of 55, with very few time spans in between that I wasn’t. As soon as I was released from jail I would seek out the nearest bar or liquor store and it was on again for me.
I believe that I hit my bottom when I was released from prison in 1997 and realized that I had nothing to go back to, as I had known before. I had no home to go to as my wife had left me while I was away. She had finally gotten fed up with my going away and leaving her with all the problems and alone. As parole would not let me go to San Mateo County to my brother’s house, I ended up in the homeless shelter in Napa, as my money ran out quick.
I ended up going back with my wife in 1999 but I had not changed much as far as my drinking went. I still drank when I could get away with it, which was quite often, and she got fed up again and kicked me out. It didn't take long to get another DUI and I ended back in Napa Jail. Knowing I needed help, I did everything I could to get CRC (California Rehabilitation Center) and a program. I got it even though I had to plead to a five-year commitment. I had finally realized that I could not get clean and sober by myself. It was hopeless and futile to try it by myself. I had hit my bottom.
Just for Today - January 9
Just for Today - January 9
Returning Our Sponsor's Kindness
"Our earliest involvements with others often begin with our sponsor"
Basic Text p. 55
Our sponsor can be an abundant source of recovery information, wisdom, and loving words. They've done so much for us. From the late night telephone calls to the hours spent listening to our recovery writing, they've believed in us and invested their time to prove it. They've lovingly and firmly shown us how to be honest. Their boundless compassion in times of turmoil has given us the strength to go on. Their way of helping has prompted us to seek our answers within ourselves, and we've become mature, responsible, confident individuals as a result.
Though our sponsor has given so generously and has never demanded repayment, there are things we can do to show our appreciation. We treat our sponsor with respect. They are not a trash can designed for us to dump our garbage in. They have their times of trial, just as we do, and sometimes need our support. They are human, have feelings, and appreciate our concern. Maybe they would like to receive a card in the mail or a phone call expressing our love.
Whatever we do to return our sponsor's kindness will enhance our personal recovery, not to mention the joy we'll bring to our sponsor.
Just for today: My sponsor has cared for me when I couldn't care for myself. Today, I will do something nice for my sponsor.
pg. 9
Returning Our Sponsor's Kindness
"Our earliest involvements with others often begin with our sponsor"
Basic Text p. 55
Our sponsor can be an abundant source of recovery information, wisdom, and loving words. They've done so much for us. From the late night telephone calls to the hours spent listening to our recovery writing, they've believed in us and invested their time to prove it. They've lovingly and firmly shown us how to be honest. Their boundless compassion in times of turmoil has given us the strength to go on. Their way of helping has prompted us to seek our answers within ourselves, and we've become mature, responsible, confident individuals as a result.
Though our sponsor has given so generously and has never demanded repayment, there are things we can do to show our appreciation. We treat our sponsor with respect. They are not a trash can designed for us to dump our garbage in. They have their times of trial, just as we do, and sometimes need our support. They are human, have feelings, and appreciate our concern. Maybe they would like to receive a card in the mail or a phone call expressing our love.
Whatever we do to return our sponsor's kindness will enhance our personal recovery, not to mention the joy we'll bring to our sponsor.
Just for today: My sponsor has cared for me when I couldn't care for myself. Today, I will do something nice for my sponsor.
pg. 9
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 8 - Trusting the Process
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 8 - Trusting the Process
When we are new to recovery it can be a very scary experience. We come into the program and find ourselves in rooms full of people that we have never seen, openly talking about things that have been bottled up in us for years and we wonder how these people can possibly be sharing things like this with another human being, let alone a room full of strangers. We may be setting in the back of the room squirming in our seat and feel that everyone is looking at us and it is very common to feel alone in a room full of people, for many of us.
For this reason i believe that the single most important thing we can do for the newcomer is “Make Them Feel Welcome”!
Some of us come in thinking we are the sickest person in the room and nobody could possibly have it as bad as us. Then we hear the first three people share and we realize, that maybe we are not as sick as we think we are.
The thing about regular meeting attendance is this, we can go to a meeting thinking we are unique in the problems we are dealing with and listen to people share things that are so much worse then what we are going through and they are walking through it clean! It gives us hope and we get to see first hand that we don't have to pick up that first time “No Matter what". We learn that by walking through the pain, we come out the other side stronger, as long as we don't pick up that first time!
If you’re new to recovery, I want to tell you, “Trust The Process”! Walking through the pain and fear, reaching out to total strangers, going to meetings even when you don't want to, opening your mouth and telling people who you are and what is going on in your life, asking people you have never seen before for there phone numbers, seeking out someone to ask to be your sponsor. It’s all part of the process. We all go through this, providing we are really here because we want to change our lives. It is called, “Willing to go to any length to change our life".
Most folks that have been in recovery for awhile can tell you that they found something in these rooms that they have been looking for there entire life, "Unconditional Love", "Acceptance", "understanding,"
"Hope”,” Higher Power", "Serenity", "People they love, respect and trust", "Freedom to be who they are without judgment or criticism"!
But they well also tell you that recovery does not happen by osmosis! You get out of recovery, what you put into it! How long you stay sick and live a life full of pain and fear, is entirely up to you!
The H.O.W. of the program, Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness.Honesty starts with being honest with yourself.
Open-mindedness involves trying new ideas and being open to suggestions.Willingness involves going to any length to change your life.12 Step programs are proven and time tested, they have worked for millions of people. I have found a home in these rooms and today I am living a life that far exceeds anything i could have ever dreamed possible. We Do Recovery, We Do Get Better, We Do Become Happy People That Can Live And Enjoy Life Again!
Trust The Process ( written by Jim, a member of our MSN group of the past) Thank you Jim for your words of wisdom.
When we are new to recovery it can be a very scary experience. We come into the program and find ourselves in rooms full of people that we have never seen, openly talking about things that have been bottled up in us for years and we wonder how these people can possibly be sharing things like this with another human being, let alone a room full of strangers. We may be setting in the back of the room squirming in our seat and feel that everyone is looking at us and it is very common to feel alone in a room full of people, for many of us.
For this reason i believe that the single most important thing we can do for the newcomer is “Make Them Feel Welcome”!
Some of us come in thinking we are the sickest person in the room and nobody could possibly have it as bad as us. Then we hear the first three people share and we realize, that maybe we are not as sick as we think we are.
The thing about regular meeting attendance is this, we can go to a meeting thinking we are unique in the problems we are dealing with and listen to people share things that are so much worse then what we are going through and they are walking through it clean! It gives us hope and we get to see first hand that we don't have to pick up that first time “No Matter what". We learn that by walking through the pain, we come out the other side stronger, as long as we don't pick up that first time!
If you’re new to recovery, I want to tell you, “Trust The Process”! Walking through the pain and fear, reaching out to total strangers, going to meetings even when you don't want to, opening your mouth and telling people who you are and what is going on in your life, asking people you have never seen before for there phone numbers, seeking out someone to ask to be your sponsor. It’s all part of the process. We all go through this, providing we are really here because we want to change our lives. It is called, “Willing to go to any length to change our life".
Most folks that have been in recovery for awhile can tell you that they found something in these rooms that they have been looking for there entire life, "Unconditional Love", "Acceptance", "understanding,"
"Hope”,” Higher Power", "Serenity", "People they love, respect and trust", "Freedom to be who they are without judgment or criticism"!
But they well also tell you that recovery does not happen by osmosis! You get out of recovery, what you put into it! How long you stay sick and live a life full of pain and fear, is entirely up to you!
The H.O.W. of the program, Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness.Honesty starts with being honest with yourself.
Open-mindedness involves trying new ideas and being open to suggestions.Willingness involves going to any length to change your life.12 Step programs are proven and time tested, they have worked for millions of people. I have found a home in these rooms and today I am living a life that far exceeds anything i could have ever dreamed possible. We Do Recovery, We Do Get Better, We Do Become Happy People That Can Live And Enjoy Life Again!
Trust The Process ( written by Jim, a member of our MSN group of the past) Thank you Jim for your words of wisdom.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Just for Today - January 8
Just for Today - January 8
January 8
Growing Up
"Our spiritual condition is the basis for a successful recovery that offers unlimited growth."Basic Text p. 43
When our members celebrate their recovery anniversaries, they often say that they've "grown up" in NA. Well, then, we think, what does that mean? We start to wonder if we're grown-ups yet. We check our lives and yes, all the trappings of adulthood are there: the checkbook, the children, the job, the responsibilities. On the inside, though, we often feel like children. We're still confused by life much of the time. We don't always know how to act. We sometimes wonder whether we're really grown-ups at all, or whether we're children who've somehow been put into adult bodies and given adult responsibilities.
Growth is not best measured by physical age or levels of responsibility. Our best measure of growth is our spiritual condition, the basis of our recovery. If we're still depending on people, places, and things to provide our inner satisfaction, like a child depending on its parents for everything, we do indeed have some growing to do. But if we stand secure on the foundation of our spiritual condition, considering its maintenance our most important responsibility, we can claim maturity. Upon that foundation, our opportunities for growth are limitless.
Just for today: The measure of my maturity is the extent to which I take responsibility for the maintenance of my spiritual condition. Today, this will be my highest priority.pg. 8
January 8
Growing Up
"Our spiritual condition is the basis for a successful recovery that offers unlimited growth."Basic Text p. 43
When our members celebrate their recovery anniversaries, they often say that they've "grown up" in NA. Well, then, we think, what does that mean? We start to wonder if we're grown-ups yet. We check our lives and yes, all the trappings of adulthood are there: the checkbook, the children, the job, the responsibilities. On the inside, though, we often feel like children. We're still confused by life much of the time. We don't always know how to act. We sometimes wonder whether we're really grown-ups at all, or whether we're children who've somehow been put into adult bodies and given adult responsibilities.
Growth is not best measured by physical age or levels of responsibility. Our best measure of growth is our spiritual condition, the basis of our recovery. If we're still depending on people, places, and things to provide our inner satisfaction, like a child depending on its parents for everything, we do indeed have some growing to do. But if we stand secure on the foundation of our spiritual condition, considering its maintenance our most important responsibility, we can claim maturity. Upon that foundation, our opportunities for growth are limitless.
Just for today: The measure of my maturity is the extent to which I take responsibility for the maintenance of my spiritual condition. Today, this will be my highest priority.pg. 8
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 7 - AA didn't get me sober
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 7 - AA didn't get me sober
I read an interesting aritcle with the above title. After reading it, it reaffirmed what I thought. AA did not get me sober, it helped me STAY sober.
I was given some help on how I GOT sober, by the State of California, with a 3 year prison program sentence of which I did about 2 1/2 years including the after care programs. I had been in prison before and jails numerous times throughout my life, and always went back to drinking/drugging with released. This time was different.
While in the program, I was exposed to recovery processes and the 12 Steps daily. I was one of those that needed these things drilled into me for a lengthy time. Kind of like "Act as If", or "fake it till you make it" type of thing.
When I was finally released, I was scared, as I knew that if I went back to drinking again, I would end up back in prison or die! I started going to meetings on a daily basis, and started applying the 12 steps in my life. THIS is what keeps me sober. Living life on life's terms and keeping the 12 steps close by daily. Commitment, responsiblity and applying what I learn in life on doing good. There are days when I falter in these, but with the help of the 12 steps and other things I've learned, I manage to get thru the day using these tools, and remain sober/clean.
AA/NA and the 12 steps helped me stay sober/clean yesterday, and thru God's will, and my recovery tools, I'll make it thru today without a drink or drug.
For those that still may be OUT there, you need to stop drinking/drugging (even for a few hours), and then let the program and 12 steps help you STAY that way for the rest of the day, one day at a time. If you apply the 12 steps in your life, you MAY remain that way again for tomorrow. YOUR CHOICE!
I read an interesting aritcle with the above title. After reading it, it reaffirmed what I thought. AA did not get me sober, it helped me STAY sober.
I was given some help on how I GOT sober, by the State of California, with a 3 year prison program sentence of which I did about 2 1/2 years including the after care programs. I had been in prison before and jails numerous times throughout my life, and always went back to drinking/drugging with released. This time was different.
While in the program, I was exposed to recovery processes and the 12 Steps daily. I was one of those that needed these things drilled into me for a lengthy time. Kind of like "Act as If", or "fake it till you make it" type of thing.
When I was finally released, I was scared, as I knew that if I went back to drinking again, I would end up back in prison or die! I started going to meetings on a daily basis, and started applying the 12 steps in my life. THIS is what keeps me sober. Living life on life's terms and keeping the 12 steps close by daily. Commitment, responsiblity and applying what I learn in life on doing good. There are days when I falter in these, but with the help of the 12 steps and other things I've learned, I manage to get thru the day using these tools, and remain sober/clean.
AA/NA and the 12 steps helped me stay sober/clean yesterday, and thru God's will, and my recovery tools, I'll make it thru today without a drink or drug.
For those that still may be OUT there, you need to stop drinking/drugging (even for a few hours), and then let the program and 12 steps help you STAY that way for the rest of the day, one day at a time. If you apply the 12 steps in your life, you MAY remain that way again for tomorrow. YOUR CHOICE!
daily reflections January 7-AT THE TURNING POINT
daily reflections January 7-AT THE TURNING POINT
At The Turning Point
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.
Alcoholics Anonymous,p.59
Every day I stand at turning points. My thoughts and actions can propel me toward growth or turn me down the road to old habits and to booze. Sometimes turning points are beginnings, as when I decide to start praising, instead of condemning someone. Or when I begin to ask for help instead of going it alone. At other times turning points are endings, such as when I see clearly the need to stop festering resentments or crippling self-seeking. Many shortcomings tempt me daily; therefore, I also have daily opportunities to become aware of them. In one form or another, many of my character defects appear daily: self-condemnation, anger, running away, being prideful, wanting to get even, or acting out of grandiosity.
Attempting half measures to eliminate these defects merely paralyzes my efforts to change. It is only when I ask God for help, with complete abandon, that I become willing-- and able-- to change.
At The Turning Point
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.
Alcoholics Anonymous,p.59
Every day I stand at turning points. My thoughts and actions can propel me toward growth or turn me down the road to old habits and to booze. Sometimes turning points are beginnings, as when I decide to start praising, instead of condemning someone. Or when I begin to ask for help instead of going it alone. At other times turning points are endings, such as when I see clearly the need to stop festering resentments or crippling self-seeking. Many shortcomings tempt me daily; therefore, I also have daily opportunities to become aware of them. In one form or another, many of my character defects appear daily: self-condemnation, anger, running away, being prideful, wanting to get even, or acting out of grandiosity.
Attempting half measures to eliminate these defects merely paralyzes my efforts to change. It is only when I ask God for help, with complete abandon, that I become willing-- and able-- to change.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Just for Today - January 7
Just for Today - January 7
January 7
"Recovery"
"Narcotics Anonymous offers addicts a program of recovery that is more than just a life without drugs. Not only is this way of life better than the hell we lived, it is better than any life that we have ever known."
Basic Text p. 103
Few of us have any interest in "recovering" what we had before we started using. Many of us suffered severely from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. Getting high and staying high seemed like the only possible way to cope with such abuse. Others suffered in less noticeable but equally painful ways before addiction took hold. We lacked direction and purpose. We were spiritually empty. We felt isolated, unable to empathize with others. We had none of the things that give life its sense and value. We took drugs in a vain attempt to fill the emptiness inside ourselves. Most of us wouldn't want to "recover" what we used to have.
Ultimately, the recovery we find in NA is something different: a chance at a new life. We've been given tools to clear the wreckage from our lives. We have been given support in courageously setting forth on a new path. And we've been given the gift of conscious contact with a Power greater than ourselves, providing us with the inner strength and direction we so sorely lacked in the past.
Recovering? Yes, in every way. We're recovering a whole new life, better than anything we ever dreamed possible. We are grateful.
Just for today: I've recovered something I never had, something I never imagined possible: the life of a recovering addict. Thank you, Higher Power, in more than words can say.
pg. 7
.
January 7
"Recovery"
"Narcotics Anonymous offers addicts a program of recovery that is more than just a life without drugs. Not only is this way of life better than the hell we lived, it is better than any life that we have ever known."
Basic Text p. 103
Few of us have any interest in "recovering" what we had before we started using. Many of us suffered severely from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. Getting high and staying high seemed like the only possible way to cope with such abuse. Others suffered in less noticeable but equally painful ways before addiction took hold. We lacked direction and purpose. We were spiritually empty. We felt isolated, unable to empathize with others. We had none of the things that give life its sense and value. We took drugs in a vain attempt to fill the emptiness inside ourselves. Most of us wouldn't want to "recover" what we used to have.
Ultimately, the recovery we find in NA is something different: a chance at a new life. We've been given tools to clear the wreckage from our lives. We have been given support in courageously setting forth on a new path. And we've been given the gift of conscious contact with a Power greater than ourselves, providing us with the inner strength and direction we so sorely lacked in the past.
Recovering? Yes, in every way. We're recovering a whole new life, better than anything we ever dreamed possible. We are grateful.
Just for today: I've recovered something I never had, something I never imagined possible: the life of a recovering addict. Thank you, Higher Power, in more than words can say.
pg. 7
.
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 6 - Our Participation
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 6 - Our Participation
The Third Step decision may be too big to make in one leap. Our fears of the Third Step, and the dangerous thinking to which those fears lead, can be eased by breaking this step down into a series of smaller, separate hurdles. The Third Step is just one more piece of the path of recovery from our addiction. Making the Third Step decision doesn’t necessarily mean that we must suddenly, completely change everything about the way we live our lives. Fundamental changes in our lives happen gradually as we work on our recovery, and all such changes require our participation. We don’t have to be afraid that this step will do something to us that we’re not ready for or won’t like.
The Third Step decision may be too big to make in one leap. Our fears of the Third Step, and the dangerous thinking to which those fears lead, can be eased by breaking this step down into a series of smaller, separate hurdles. The Third Step is just one more piece of the path of recovery from our addiction. Making the Third Step decision doesn’t necessarily mean that we must suddenly, completely change everything about the way we live our lives. Fundamental changes in our lives happen gradually as we work on our recovery, and all such changes require our participation. We don’t have to be afraid that this step will do something to us that we’re not ready for or won’t like.
daily reflections January 6-THE VICTORY OF SURRENDER
daily reflections January 6-THE VICTORY OF SURRENDER
The Victory Of Surrender
We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps toward liberation and strength. Our admissions of personal powerlessness finally turn out to be firm bedrock upon which happy and purposeful lives may be built.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.21
When alcohol influenced every facet of my life, when bottles became the symbol of all my self-indulgence and permissiveness, when I came to realize that, by myself, I could do nothing to overcome the power of alcohol, I realized that I had no recourse except surrender. In surrender I found victory-- victory over my selfish self-indulgence, victory over my stubborn resistance to life as it was given to me. When I stopped fighting anybody or anything, I started on the path to sobriety, serenity and peace.
The Victory Of Surrender
We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps toward liberation and strength. Our admissions of personal powerlessness finally turn out to be firm bedrock upon which happy and purposeful lives may be built.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.21
When alcohol influenced every facet of my life, when bottles became the symbol of all my self-indulgence and permissiveness, when I came to realize that, by myself, I could do nothing to overcome the power of alcohol, I realized that I had no recourse except surrender. In surrender I found victory-- victory over my selfish self-indulgence, victory over my stubborn resistance to life as it was given to me. When I stopped fighting anybody or anything, I started on the path to sobriety, serenity and peace.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 5 - Amends, Maybe?
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 5 - Amends, Maybe?
Some of us may still believe that we're just basically nice people who have never truly harmed anyone-except ourselves, that is. If we're truly stumped about who belongs on our amends list, or we have a vague idea that our family belongs there but we're not sure why, it could be that we're overlooking something or that our denial is still pretty thick. Sometimes, we're just not able to see the truth about certain situations, even after many years in recovery. A suggestion that many of us have followed is that if we think of someone to whom we seem to owe amends, but we can't think of the situation that resulted in our owing amends, we put the name on the list anyway. Sometimes we'll think of the "why" later on. We should do the best we can with this step for now, contact our sponsor, and keep working on our recovery. As the saying goes, "more will be revealed." We just need to keep an open mind, so that when the knowledge comes we'll be prepared to accept it.
Some of us may still believe that we're just basically nice people who have never truly harmed anyone-except ourselves, that is. If we're truly stumped about who belongs on our amends list, or we have a vague idea that our family belongs there but we're not sure why, it could be that we're overlooking something or that our denial is still pretty thick. Sometimes, we're just not able to see the truth about certain situations, even after many years in recovery. A suggestion that many of us have followed is that if we think of someone to whom we seem to owe amends, but we can't think of the situation that resulted in our owing amends, we put the name on the list anyway. Sometimes we'll think of the "why" later on. We should do the best we can with this step for now, contact our sponsor, and keep working on our recovery. As the saying goes, "more will be revealed." We just need to keep an open mind, so that when the knowledge comes we'll be prepared to accept it.
Just for Today - January 5
Just for Today - January 5
Recovery at Home
"We can enjoy our families in a new way and may become a credit to them instead of an embarrassment or a burden."
Basic Text p. 100
We're doing great in recovery, aren't we? We go to a meeting every day, we spend every evening with our friends in the fellowship, and every weekend we dash off to a service workshop. But if things are falling to pieces at home, we're not doing so great after all.
We expect our families to understand. After all, we're not using drugs anymore. Why don't they recognize our progress? Don't they understand how important our meetings, our service, and our involvement with the fellowship are?
Our families will not appreciate the change NA is working in our lives unless we show them. If we rush off to a meeting the same way we rushed off to use drugs, what has changed? If we continue to ignore the needs and desires of our partners and children, failing to accept our responsibilities at home, we aren't "practicing these principles in all our affairs."
We must live the program everywhere we go, in everything we do. If we want the spiritual life to be more than a theory, we have to live it at home. When we do this, the people we share our lives with are sure to notice the change and be grateful that we've found NA.
Just for today: I will take my recovery home with me.
pg. 5
Recovery at Home
"We can enjoy our families in a new way and may become a credit to them instead of an embarrassment or a burden."
Basic Text p. 100
We're doing great in recovery, aren't we? We go to a meeting every day, we spend every evening with our friends in the fellowship, and every weekend we dash off to a service workshop. But if things are falling to pieces at home, we're not doing so great after all.
We expect our families to understand. After all, we're not using drugs anymore. Why don't they recognize our progress? Don't they understand how important our meetings, our service, and our involvement with the fellowship are?
Our families will not appreciate the change NA is working in our lives unless we show them. If we rush off to a meeting the same way we rushed off to use drugs, what has changed? If we continue to ignore the needs and desires of our partners and children, failing to accept our responsibilities at home, we aren't "practicing these principles in all our affairs."
We must live the program everywhere we go, in everything we do. If we want the spiritual life to be more than a theory, we have to live it at home. When we do this, the people we share our lives with are sure to notice the change and be grateful that we've found NA.
Just for today: I will take my recovery home with me.
pg. 5
daily reflections January 5-TOTAL ACCEPTANCE
daily reflections January 5-TOTAL ACCEPTANCE
Total Acceptance
He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end. Alcoholics Anonymous,p.152
Only an alcoholic can understand the exact meaning of a statement like this one. The double standard that held me captive as an active alcoholic also filled me with terror and confusion: "If I don't get a drink I'm going to die," competed with "If I continue drinking it's going to kill me." Both compulsive thoughts pushed me ever closer to the bottom. That bottom produced a total acceptance of my alcoholism-- with no reservations whatsoever-- and one that was absolutely essential for my recovery. It was a dilemma unlike anything I had ever faced, but as I found out later on, a necessary one if I was to succeed in this program.
Total Acceptance
He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end. Alcoholics Anonymous,p.152
Only an alcoholic can understand the exact meaning of a statement like this one. The double standard that held me captive as an active alcoholic also filled me with terror and confusion: "If I don't get a drink I'm going to die," competed with "If I continue drinking it's going to kill me." Both compulsive thoughts pushed me ever closer to the bottom. That bottom produced a total acceptance of my alcoholism-- with no reservations whatsoever-- and one that was absolutely essential for my recovery. It was a dilemma unlike anything I had ever faced, but as I found out later on, a necessary one if I was to succeed in this program.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
daily reflections January 4-BEGIN WHERE YOU ARE
daily reflections January 4-BEGIN WHERE YOU ARE
Begin Where You Are
We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs. Alcoholics Anonymous,p.19
It's usually pretty easy for me to be pleasant to the people in an A.A. setting. While I'm working to stay sober, I'm celebrating with my fellow A.A.s our common release from the hell of drinking. It's often not so hard to spread glad tidings to my old and new friends in the program.
At home or at work, though, it can be a different story. It is in situations arising in both of those areas that the little day-to-day frustrations are most evident, and where it can be tough to smile or reach out with a kind word or an attentive ear. It's outside of the A.A. rooms that I face the real test of the effectiveness of my walk through A.A.'s Twelve Steps.
Begin Where You Are
We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs. Alcoholics Anonymous,p.19
It's usually pretty easy for me to be pleasant to the people in an A.A. setting. While I'm working to stay sober, I'm celebrating with my fellow A.A.s our common release from the hell of drinking. It's often not so hard to spread glad tidings to my old and new friends in the program.
At home or at work, though, it can be a different story. It is in situations arising in both of those areas that the little day-to-day frustrations are most evident, and where it can be tough to smile or reach out with a kind word or an attentive ear. It's outside of the A.A. rooms that I face the real test of the effectiveness of my walk through A.A.'s Twelve Steps.
daily reflections January 4-BEGIN WHERE YOU ARE
daily reflections January 4-BEGIN WHERE YOU ARE
Begin Where You Are
We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs. Alcoholics Anonymous,p.19
It's usually pretty easy for me to be pleasant to the people in an A.A. setting. While I'm working to stay sober, I'm celebrating with my fellow A.A.s our common release from the hell of drinking. It's often not so hard to spread glad tidings to my old and new friends in the program.
At home or at work, though, it can be a different story. It is in situations arising in both of those areas that the little day-to-day frustrations are most evident, and where it can be tough to smile or reach out with a kind word or an attentive ear. It's outside of the A.A. rooms that I face the real test of the effectiveness of my walk through A.A.'s Twelve Steps.
Begin Where You Are
We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs. Alcoholics Anonymous,p.19
It's usually pretty easy for me to be pleasant to the people in an A.A. setting. While I'm working to stay sober, I'm celebrating with my fellow A.A.s our common release from the hell of drinking. It's often not so hard to spread glad tidings to my old and new friends in the program.
At home or at work, though, it can be a different story. It is in situations arising in both of those areas that the little day-to-day frustrations are most evident, and where it can be tough to smile or reach out with a kind word or an attentive ear. It's outside of the A.A. rooms that I face the real test of the effectiveness of my walk through A.A.'s Twelve Steps.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Milkman's Reflections in Recovery: Just for Today - January 4
Milkman's Reflections in Recovery: Just for Today - January 4: January 4 The Love of the Fellowship "Today secure in the love of the fellowship, we can finally look another human being in the eye and be...
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 3 - Insanity
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 3 - Insanity
Insanity
If we have any doubts about the need for a renewal of sanity in our lives, we’re going to have trouble with this step. Reviewing our First Step should help us if we’re having doubts. Now is the time to take a good look at our insanity.
Did I believe I could control my using? What were some of my experiences with this, and how were my efforts unsuccessful?
What things did I do that I can hardly believe I did when I look back at them?
Did I put myself in dangerous situations to get drugs?
Did I behave in ways of which I’m now ashamed? What were those situations like?
Did I make insane decisions as a result of my addiction?
Did I quit jobs, leave friendships and other relationships, or give up on achieving other goals for no reason other than that those things interfered with my using?
Did I ever physically injure myself or someone else in my addiction?
Insanity is a loss of our perspective and our sense of proportion. For example, we may think that our personal problems are more important than anyone else’s; in fact, we may not even be able to consider other people’s needs at all. Small problems become major catastrophes. Our lives get out of balance. Some obvious examples of insane thinking are the belief that we can stay clean on our own, or the belief that using drugs was our only problem and that everything is fine now just because we’re clean. In Narcotics Anonymous, insanity is often described as the belief that we can take something outside ourselves-drugs, power, sex, food-to fix what’s wrong inside ourselves: our feelings.
Insanity
If we have any doubts about the need for a renewal of sanity in our lives, we’re going to have trouble with this step. Reviewing our First Step should help us if we’re having doubts. Now is the time to take a good look at our insanity.
Did I believe I could control my using? What were some of my experiences with this, and how were my efforts unsuccessful?
What things did I do that I can hardly believe I did when I look back at them?
Did I put myself in dangerous situations to get drugs?
Did I behave in ways of which I’m now ashamed? What were those situations like?
Did I make insane decisions as a result of my addiction?
Did I quit jobs, leave friendships and other relationships, or give up on achieving other goals for no reason other than that those things interfered with my using?
Did I ever physically injure myself or someone else in my addiction?
Insanity is a loss of our perspective and our sense of proportion. For example, we may think that our personal problems are more important than anyone else’s; in fact, we may not even be able to consider other people’s needs at all. Small problems become major catastrophes. Our lives get out of balance. Some obvious examples of insane thinking are the belief that we can stay clean on our own, or the belief that using drugs was our only problem and that everything is fine now just because we’re clean. In Narcotics Anonymous, insanity is often described as the belief that we can take something outside ourselves-drugs, power, sex, food-to fix what’s wrong inside ourselves: our feelings.
daily reflections January 3-POWERLESS
daily reflections January 3-POWERLESS
Powerless
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-- that our lives had become unmanageable. Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.21
It is no coincidence that the very first Step mentions powerlessness. An admission of personal powerlessness over alcohol is a cornerstone of the foundation of recovery. I've learned that I do not have the power and control I once thought I had. I am powerless over how other people think about me. I am powerless over having just missed the bus. I am powerless over how other people work (or don't work) the Steps. But I've also learned I am not powerless over some things. I am not powerless over my attitudes. I am not powerless over negativity. I am not powerless over assuming responssibility for my own recovery. I have the power to exert a positive influence on myself, my loved ones, and the world in which I live.
Powerless
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-- that our lives had become unmanageable. Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.21
It is no coincidence that the very first Step mentions powerlessness. An admission of personal powerlessness over alcohol is a cornerstone of the foundation of recovery. I've learned that I do not have the power and control I once thought I had. I am powerless over how other people think about me. I am powerless over having just missed the bus. I am powerless over how other people work (or don't work) the Steps. But I've also learned I am not powerless over some things. I am not powerless over my attitudes. I am not powerless over negativity. I am not powerless over assuming responssibility for my own recovery. I have the power to exert a positive influence on myself, my loved ones, and the world in which I live.
Monday, January 2, 2012
daily reflections January 2-FIRST, THE FOUNDATION
daily reflections January 2-FIRST, THE FOUNDATION
First, The Foundation
Is sobriety all that we can expect of a spiritual awakening? No, sobriety is only a bare beginning. As Bill Sees It,p.8
Practicing the A.A. program is like building a house. First I had to pour a big, thick concrete slab on which to erect the house; that,to me, was the equivalent of stopping drinking. But it's pretty uncomfortable living on a concrete slab, unprotected and exposed to the heat, cold, wind, and rain. So I built a room on the slab by starting to practice the program. The first room was rickety because I wasn't used to the work. But as time passed, as I practiced the program, I learned to build better rooms. The more I practiced, and the more I built, the more comfortable, and happy, was the home I now have to live in.
First, The Foundation
Is sobriety all that we can expect of a spiritual awakening? No, sobriety is only a bare beginning. As Bill Sees It,p.8
Practicing the A.A. program is like building a house. First I had to pour a big, thick concrete slab on which to erect the house; that,to me, was the equivalent of stopping drinking. But it's pretty uncomfortable living on a concrete slab, unprotected and exposed to the heat, cold, wind, and rain. So I built a room on the slab by starting to practice the program. The first room was rickety because I wasn't used to the work. But as time passed, as I practiced the program, I learned to build better rooms. The more I practiced, and the more I built, the more comfortable, and happy, was the home I now have to live in.
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